Posted on - No Comments on Book Marketing 101: look, lady, all I know is that I have a book in Category X; cut to the chase, already

Book Marketing 101: look, lady, all I know is that I have a book in Category X; cut to the chase, already

As I have been arguing throughout this Book Marketing 101 series, queries tend to work best when they are sent to specific agents who habitually sell similar books. Not just because that’s the single best indication of what the agent in question likes to read — although that’s definitely good to ascertain, if you can, before you query — but also because it’s a dandy indication that the agent has some pretty good connections with editors who happen to like to acquire that type of book.

Thus, I have so far been approaching the guide listings, blurbs, etc., on the assumption that a writer will want to narrow down your first-round query list to just a handful of near-perfect matches. To that end, I’ve been encouraging you to track down as much specific sales information as possible on the agents you’re considering.

That strategy, I suspect, will not be everyone’s proverbial mug of oolong.

“Wait just a minute,” I have heard some of among you murmuring, and who could blame you? “What you’ve been suggesting is a heck of a lot of work. Frankly, I don’t know enough about the industry yet for a list of sales to make me cry, ‘Yes! This is the agent for me!’ I’m willing to do some legwork, but for heaven’s sake, querying eats into my writing time, and the agency guide before me lists a hundred agencies that accept books in my category! Since they’ve said point-blank that they want to see books like mine, why shouldn’t I take their word for it and query them all without researching the last five years of sales for each and every agent at all hundred of those agencies, which would take me until next March at the earliest?”

Oh, how I wish there were a quick and easy way to avoid the sometimes-lengthy research process! Honestly, if I knew of one, I would share it with you toute suite. (I would also bottle it and make a million dollars, but that’s another story.)

Hold onto your hats, because I’m about to say something controversial: it does pay in the long run to double-check what one finds in the guides, in my experience — yes, even down to book categories.

Why? Well — are you still clutching those chapeaux? — not every agency that lists itself as representing (or even actively seeking) a particular book category will be equally receptive to queries for that kind of book. To my eye, one of the most common ways in which listings and blurbs confuse agent-seeking writers is by appearing to be open to virtually any kind of book — or at least to so many categories that it’s extremely difficult to tell WITHOUT substantial further research what any member agent’s actual specialties are.

Let me hasten to add that my views on this subject are not the prevailing opinion, as nearly as I can tell; it’s not one you’re likely to hear at your garden-variety writers’ conference (unless, of course, I happen to be teaching there). There, you are far more likely to be told — with a certain impatience of tone — that the only reason that a query might end up in the wrong hands is if its writer did not do his or her homework. The information, it is implied, is all easily available to anyone who looks for it.

Personally, I don’t believe that this is entirely true; as I’ve shown in my last few posts (and in last year’s AGENTS/EDITORS WHO USED TO ATTEND PNWA series, categorized at right, where I took on real-world examples), there is a wide range in the level of information that agencies make available to potential queriers — and a great deal of that is in industry-speak, the meaning of which may not be immediately apparent to those new to the biz.

I did not, after all, invent the oft-seen guide entry This agency prefers not to share information on specific sales.

There are plenty of quite authoritative sources out there, however, who will tell you (as they certainly told me, with some asperity) that no good can come of writers’ pointing out that some of the emperors out there are slightly underdressed, to say the least. And in a sense, they’re quite right: marching up to the nearest agent or standing up at a writers’ conference and demanding to know why a particular blurb or guide listing is confusing probably isn’t the best means of endearing yourself as a potential client.

But as James Joyce wrote, “We cannot change the country; let us change the subject.”

In other words, we writers can’t control how agencies choose to present their preferences; we can, however, learn to be better interpreters of those preferences by recognizing that there are some informational gaps out there. We can teach ourselves the norms of querying, what tends to work, what tends not to work, and thereby save ourselves a whole lot of chagrin.

So there. I never said it wasn’t going to be a lot of work. And if I’m wrong, and every blurb out there conveys with pellucid clarity precisely what every agent would and would like to see, well, as Aunt Jane would say, at least the credit of a wild imagination will be all my own.

I’m not just talking about blurbs that say vague things like, We’re open to any good writing, We accept all genres except YA, or Literary value considered first — although I think a pretty good case could be made that, to a writer seeking to figure out who might conceivably represent say, a Western romance, such statements are at best marginally useful. I am also talking about those listings where the agency professes to represent virtually every major book category.

You’ve seen ‘em, haven’t you? They tend to look a little something like this:

Represents: nonfiction books, novels, short story collections, novellas. No picture books or poetry.
Considers these fiction areas: action/adventure, contemporary issues, detective/police/crime, erotica, ethnic, experimental, family saga, fantasy, feminist, gay/lesbian, glitz, graphic novels, historical, horror, humor, literary, mainstream, military, multicultural, mystery, regional, religious/inspirational, romance, romantica, science fiction, spiritual, sports, supernatural, suspense, thriller, westerns, women’s fiction, YA.
Considers these nonfiction areas: agriculture, Americana, animals, anthropology/archeology, art/architecture/design, autobiography…

And that’s just the As.

Since I have already sung the praises of further research to determine who is representing what lately, let’s set aside for the moment the sometimes knotty problem of figuring out, over the course of a couple of dozen different listed genres, which is the agency’s specialty. Let’s also, and for the same reason, table discussion of the difficulties of determining which member agent would be the best to query for any given category listed without doing an internet search to see who has been to what conference lately — and if so, did they state any preferences in their blurbs? (Although while we’re at it, let’s all shout hallelujah for agencies kind enough to state who represents which category outright in a guide listing, saving writers everywhere a whole lot of time.)

Even apart from all that, I think such voluminous lists are potentially problematic. To pick one quandary out of that hat I told you to cling to, I think their breadth often tempts writers into thinking that they do not need to specify a book category when they query.

After all, the logic runs, if the agency says it represents all three of the closest marketing categories, why take the trouble to figure out into which the book fits?

Long-time readers, chant it with me now: because categories are how the industry thinks of books, that’s why. Agents and their Millicents tend to reject queries that do not specify a book category out of hand.

Quoth Joyce: “The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts.” (Hey, I had to double-check the earlier quote, anyway; I did a little quote-shopping.)

If it makes you feel any better, the problems caused by such all-inclusive lists are not just on the writer’s end. Uninformative guide listings, minimally communicative conference guide blurbs, and agency websites that, to put it mildly, do not give a clear indication of what kind of books would make their little hearts sing must, logically, tend to INCREASE the percentage of queries they receive for books outside their areas of specialty in any given day’s mail drop, not discourage them.

Think about it: if the agency doesn’t make its likes and dislikes clear in its guide blurbs or on its website, most potential submitters will be relying upon guesswork in addressing their queries. Which, logically, is going to lead to a whole lot of queries landing on the wrong desks and being rejected summarily — and to Millicents across the industry wringing their overworked hands with increasing frequency, troubling the ceiling with their bootless cries about why oh why are these people sending queries for books that the agency doesn’t even represent. So they send out form rejection letters, so no one learns anything from the process, and lo and behold, they keep receiving queries for book categories they don’t want.

Excuse me, driver, but I’d like to get off. This vicious circle is making me dizzy. I’m guessing that it’s made those of you given to staring helplessly at agency websites and vague guide listings dizzy, too.

Even though it is honestly is in their own best interest to be specific, there are a number of perfectly legitimate reasons an agency might say it is actively seeking a list of categories that looks less like an agent’s specialties than the entire stock of your local Borders.

For example, they might have the editorial connections to place all of those different types of books successfully. This kind of reach is certainly not out of the question for a large, well-established agency, but a great big agency is not necessarily the best choice for every writer and/or every book. (Don’t worry; I’m going to talk how and why tomorrow.)

Fortunately, the standard agency guides routinely print how many clients any listed agency represents, so you need not necessarily track down their entire client list. If it is good-sized — 300 clients, for instance, handled by six or seven agents with different specialties — your task is clear: do a bit of further research to figure out which of those probably well-connected agents has been selling books in your category lately.

(I feel another zany personal opinion coming on: although guide listings typically list a single agent as the contact person for the entire agency, I’ve found that it’s generally in the best interest of the writer to write directly to the member agent who represents YOUR kind of book, rather than the listed contact.)

If the agency in question is small, check to see how long it’s been around — this information, too, is routinely listed in agency guides, and with good reason. Selling books to publishers is hard work; agencies go in and out of business all the time.

Before they have established a reputation and connections within particular book categories, new agencies — and new agents — sometimes spread a pretty wide net for new clients. In such cases, the list of categories they are seeking can turn into a wish list, rather than a true reflection of what they have sold in the past.

Let me repeat that, because it’s important: a list of categories is not necessarily proof positive that an agency has actually sold books in each of them within the last couple of years — or even within living memory. It can also be a list of what the agency WANTS to sell over the next couple of years — a definitional haziness not limited to small agencies, certainly, but common to them.

Which means, in practice, if a particular book category is hot right now, or industry buzz says it will be the next big thing, it’s going to turn up on the lists of quite a few agencies that have not yet sold that type of book — and thus in the index of this year’s agency guide.

Ideally, you would like to be represented by an agent with a solid track record selling your type of book, right? And as I have mentioned, oh, 70 or 80 times in the last year, agents specialize. So do editors. If you write women’s fiction, even a brilliant agent whose sole previous focus are in self-help will probably have a harder time selling your book than someone who sells women’s fiction day in, day out.

An agent who has managed to sell a particular category of book in the past is not only going to have a better idea of who is buying that type of book these days — she’s infinitely more likely to be able to call up the right editor and say, “Listen, you know that fantasy I sold you six months ago? I have one you’re going to like even better.”

Or if she’s not more likely to say it, she’s more likely to be believed when she does.

Seems pretty straightforward, right? But when editors start saying things like, “You know what I’m really looking for right now? A book from Hot Category X,” it’s not all that uncommon for an agent without a track record in Hot Category X to think, “Hmm, I wish I had one of those handy right now.” Completely understandable, right?

Unfortunately, from the perspective of a Hot Category X writer new to the business, it can be pretty hard to tell the difference between an enthusiastic neophyte and a seasoned veteran of Hot Category X sales. Both, you see, are likely to say, “Oh, I know PRECISELY the editor for that.”

This is not, unfortunately, just a matter of my opinion. Ask almost anyone who’s been in the biz for the last decade or so, and you will probably hear a horror story about a great chick lit, historical romance, and/or memoir writer who was hotly pursued by an agent who later turned out to have few (or even no) editorial connections in that direction — and who, having unsuccessfully shopped the book around to 4 of the wrong editors, dropped it like a searing stone. Everyone seems to know someone to whom it has happened.

Yet another reason that it’s an excellent idea to double-check actual sales before you commit to a representation contract. Or indeed, before you query.

If the lead agent (whose name, as often as not, is the name of the agency) peeled off recently from a great big concern, taking her clients with her, she may well have clients across many, many genres. Connections definitely carry over — and since the agent will probably want to advertise that fact, check the listing, website, or conference blurb for a mention of where she worked last.

Then check out THAT agency, to see what they sell early and often.

Do your homework, but try not to get paranoid about it. Much of the time, inappropriately-listed categories aren’t the result of anyone’ being mean or misrepresenting themselves. Industry trends often move faster than guides are released, after all.

Perhaps a category that was hip seven months ago, when the agency filled out the guide questionnaire, but has since fallen out of fashion. Obviously, if an agency was seeking a particular kind of book only because of its marketing potential, and not because they love that kind of book, and it stops selling — or selling easily — they’re going to tell their Millicents to look askance at queries for it.

Yes, it’s a whole lot of work; as our old pal Joyce wrote about something entirely different, “Writing in English is the most ingenious torture ever devised for sins committed in previous lives.” He was talking mechanics, of course, but I doubt you’d find a querier who has been at it for a while who wouldn’t wholeheartedly agree to add Trying to sell to the front of the statement.

This may be a minority opinion, but this process is genuinely hard, even for the best writers. I have faith that you can do it, though. Keep up the good work.

Posted on - 6 Comments on Book Marketing 101: is it too much to ask to find someone nice?

Book Marketing 101: is it too much to ask to find someone nice?

I was thinking about you yesterday, readers, as I was taking scones to the poll workers. (For those of you reading this outside the U.S., yesterday was Election Day.) I usually take bagels — I volunteered as a poll worker once; it’s a 15-hour day — but a new bakery’s just opened up in the neighborhood, and what better way to introduce ‘em to the locals?

Why did this remind me of you, you ask? Because no matter how many election days see yours truly and partner coming through our local high school’s absurdly heavy double doors with goodies, the poll workers are always surprised to be treated with kindness. In the midst of dealing with the super-rushed, the resigned, and the confused, they always seem shocked that anyone would recognize that their job is a hard one.

I constantly see this same “What do you mean, you’re going to treat me like a human being?” weariness in the eyes of aspiring writers who have been querying for a good long time.

It’s completely understandable, of course. After a couple of dozen form-letter rejections — basically, being told by a faceless entity that one’s work is not good enough, but not being told how or why — it’s very, very easy to start to believe that agencies and publishing houses are staffed by writer-hating ogres, leering loreleis who cajole writers into sending in their hopes and dreams, purely for the pleasure of smashing them into the ground.

But the fact is, this just isn’t the case. There are a few mean people, of course, as in any profession, and I suppose it’s not out of the question that some perversely masochistic hater of the written word might choose to torture herself by becoming an agency screener.

For the most part, though, if you have the opportunity to talk to an agent, editor, or one of their overworked screeners, you will discover someone who genuinely adores good writing and is sincerely eager to promote the interests of those who produce it.

Stop laughing; it’s true.

Not everyone agrees on what constitutes good writing, of course — one doesn’t have to hang around the industry very long to realize that there are folks out there who apparently don’t make too strong a distinction between what is marketable and what is well-written — but contrary to cynical rumors perennially circulating on the writers’ conference circuit, it’s rare to find an agent or editor who genuinely regards writers as merely the necessary evil behind a successful book.

So why do so many of their form-letter rejections, conference speeches, websites, and even statements in agency guides convey, to put it politely, the opposite impression?

An array of reasons — absolutely none of which have anything to do with you or your writing. Please, please do no fall into the trap of taking it personally.

In the first place, form-letter rejections are now the norm in the industry. Period. Even for submissions — yes, even when an agent or editor has asked to see the entire book. It’s annoying as heck for the writer who receives them, of course, but the fact is, boilerplate rejections are the industry’s reaction to the incredible rise in queries since the advent of the home computer.

Like so many other puzzling aspect of the submission process, it can be explained by the agents’ desire to save time. Which, as long-time readers of this blog know, can be darned hard in an agency that receives 1000 queries per week.

See why I don’t think you should take it personally?

And while reason tells us that it would take only a few seconds per query for the agent or screener to scrawl a couple of words of explanation in the margin of a pre-printed rejection (which does happen occasionally, if a screener has mixed feelings about the rejection), the sheer volume of envelopes on Millicent’s desk tends to discourage it.

Do I hear some disgruntled murmuring out there? “But Anne,” a few lone voices cry, “this isn’t what I’ve heard. I’ve always been told — sometimes by agents speaking at writers’ conferences — that if I have been querying for a while and receiving only form rejections, I must be doing something terribly wrong.”

I’ve heard that one, too — and interestingly, I’ve sometimes heard agents who use form-letter rejections heavily say it. So my first response is: poppycock.

This is, in fact, an outdated notion. Gone are the days when only those illiterate queries and submissions without a prayer of being salvaged were brushed off in this manner — although, to tell you the truth, since the invention of the photocopier, there have always been more agencies and publishing houses using boilerplate rejections than was generally recognized.

It’s just too good a way to plow through the day’s mail.

To understand why, place yourself in Millicent’s moccasins for a moment: she’s been screening submissions all day, and she wants to go home on time in order to crank out those grad school applications sitting on her desk at home. (Oh, she dreams big, our Millicent!) Standing between her and the door are the 150 query letters that arrived in the morning mail — probably more, if it’s a Monday — and she knows that another 150 or so will be dumped on her desk tomorrow.

Isn’t it in her interest to get through each of those queries as quickly as humanly possible?

This is precisely what she does, of course. For a bone-chilling insight on just how draconian that process can be written by an actual Millicent, I highly recommend the excellent Rejecter blog, but those of you who have followed this Book Marketing 101 series already have a basic idea of the carnage that follows, right? “Dear Agent” letters and queries for book categories her agency doesn’t represent are rejected unread, of course, as are letters that fail to conform to the norms of submission. (For a crash course on just what those norms are, please see the HOW TO WRITE A QUERY LETTER category at right.) For each, she stuffs the agency’s boilerplate rejection into the accompanying SASE.

Those are quick; the more professional ones take a little longer. But almost all of them are going to go.

And that, too, is partially a function of time. Think about it: since an acceptance requires a personalized letter or e-mail, it takes longer to accept a query than to reject it, right? And if Millicent has already decided to reject a query, which is she more likely to do when she’s trying to get out of the office, give a detailed explanation why, or just reach for that pile of rejection letters?

Would it affect your answer to know that take the easy route might save her a full two minutes? Not a lot of time in the life of the writer who has poured years into writing the book being queried, I’ll allow, but the sheer volume she faces precludes lingering. (150 queries x 2 minutes/query = 300 minutes, or 5 hours)

If she works at an agency that accepts e-mailed queries — still not the norm, but becoming more common all the time — her rejection rate is probably even faster, and she is probably using pretty much the same boilerplate.

This seems to come as a surprise to many habitual e-queriers: after all, how long could it possibly take to give a sentence or two of actual feedback?

We writers tend to forget this, but to most of the earth’s population, the transposition of thought into written sentences is a time-consuming and sometimes even painful process. A good reader is not always a good, or even adequate, writer.

Which is a nice way of saying that Millicent is unlikely to reinvent the wheel each time she taps out an e-rejection. It’s much more time-efficient to paste the same surface-kind language her agency has been cramming into SASEs for years.

To experienced eyes, the same stock phrases — and often even the same sentences — are evident in pretty much every boilerplate rejection, be it electronic or paper-based. I’m sure you recognize them: Your manuscript does not meet our needs at this time. We are only accepting clients selectively. I just didn’t fall in love with it.

And that’s just from the agencies that bother to respond to e-queries; increasingly, I’ve been noticing, agencies that accept electronic queries have started to state outright on their websites that the querier will only hear from them if they are interested, a level of brusqueness practically unheard-of for mailed queries. Presumably, then, they prefer e-queries primarily for the ease with which they can be deleted.

Personally, I find this practice kind of appalling: with a form-letter rejection, at least, the writer can be sure that the query reached the agency; without a response, how can she ever be absolutely sure that her missive didn’t just go astray?

Not to mention the fact that the human eye tends to skim on the screen, zipping across even the most beautiful prose with a rapidity it never would on paper. (See why I habitually discourage e-querying?) And since e-querying and e-submission is substantially less expensive than paper querying for writers based outside the US (to query an agency here, the stamps on the SASE need to be in US currency, which can be quite spendy to track down abroad; to buy them online at face value, try the USPS website), I worry that foreign writers might be encouraged by the relative cheapness of e-querying to place their queries at a competitive disadvantage.

Okay, I’ll admit it: all of this may not be the best way to make my point that most agents and editors are really rather fond of writers and their work. My point is that precisely because such practices — form-letter rejections, non-response rejections, writing in blurbs — are impersonal by definition, it doesn’t make sense, logically, to read them as a reflection upon your work.

Seriously, there is nothing to read into a statement like I’m sorry, but this does not meet our needs at this time, other than a simple, unnuanced No.

Which, admittedly, is lousy enough to hear — but it certainly is not the same as hearing, “You know, I really liked your premise, but I felt your execution was weak,” feedback that might actually help a writer improve the next query or submission. And it’s definitely better than hearing what so many writers read into such statements, hostility that amounts to ”Take it away — this is loathsome!”

At minimum, it should NEVER be read as, “Since I’m saying no, no one else will ever say yes.” Just note the response — and send out the next query immediately.

I sense some lightening of writerly hearts out there, but still, some strategic-minded spirits are troubled. “But Anne,” I hear a few quiet voices saying, “this is all very well as encouragement, but why are you telling us this in the midst of a series of posts on how to build a querying list?”

Because, sharp-minded questioners, in working with my clients and preparing these blog posts, I reading through quite a few listings, websites, conference blurbs: in short, I have been sifting through what a writer trying to glean some sense of a particular agent’s preferences might find. And over the years, I haven’t been able to help but notice that just as many aspiring writers read a certain hostility into form rejections, they sometimes read a coldness into the listings and blurbs themselves.

I don’t think this is in the writer’s best interest, as far as pulling together a querying list goes. Here’s why.

While some agencies seem to go out of their way to be encouraging, others come across as off-puttingly intimidating. Most of the time, it’s just businesslike advice: Query first by mail. Include SASE. Query before submitting. No e-mail queries. A bit terse, perhaps, but nothing to cause undue dismay.

Sometimes, though, these statements — which are, the shy writer thinks, how the agency is choosing to promote itself to potential clients — can come across as positive discouragement to query at all.

Chief among these, naturally, are the ones that actually ARE intended to discourage queriers: We do not accept submissions from previously unpublished writers. New clients considered by recommendation only. Does not consider science fiction, fantasy, or mysteries. Or my personal favorite from the first page of the guide currently at my elbow, Although we remain absolutely dedicated to finding new talent, we must announce that until further notice we can no longer accept unsolicited manuscripts. We also cannot accept queries or submissions via e-mail.

While a thoughtful peruser might be left wondering, in this last case, how precisely the agency in question acts upon the absolute dedication it mentions, having so emphatically cut off the most logical manners of exercising it, it is usually best to take such statements at face value. If an agency isn’t considering books like yours, or if it relies upon its existing client list to recruit new writers for them (not all that unusual), querying them isn’t going to be a very efficient use of your time, anyway.

Similarly, when a listing or blurb includes a simple statement of preference, along the lines of No phone calls or Include first five pages with query, this information can be very helpful to the writer. It’s worth seeking out. After all, practical information like We never download attachments to e-mail queries for security reasons, so please copy and paste material into your e-mail is always worth following.

Hey, I’m all for anything that keeps Millicent’s itchy finger away from that delete button.

Frankly, I consider specificity a very good sign in a listing; as anyone who has flipped through one of the standard guides can tell you, it’s fairly rare. Whenever I see a website whose organizers have taken the time to give the logic behind their preferences, I think, “Wow, this agency has given the process some thought. Vive la difference!”

But listings, websites, blurbs, and even conference speeches that bark advice at the writer — and, once notice, it tends to be the same advice, over and over again — can be harder to decipher. Does the assertion that I do not take on books described as bestsellers or potential bestsellers, for instance, mean that the agent is specifically looking for less commercial work, that he doesn’t like to see target market demographics in an e-mail, or just that he’s tired of receiving boasts? Does This agency prefers not to share information on specific sales mean that they don’t have many big names on their client list, that they tend to sell to smaller presses, that they are too new an agency to have many clients’ books on the shelves yet — or just that the guy whose job it was to fill out the questionnaire was in a hurry?

Here, too, the impulse to read character into the responses can easily run amok — but what a temptation some of agencies do provide! For example, does the order Be professional! mean that the agency stating it is interested in working with a writer new to the business, or doesn’t it? And why, the nervous would-be querier wonders, does this agency immediately leap to the conclusion that I intend to be unprofessional in my approach?

Keep reminding yourself: this is generic advice, not intended for your eyes alone. Nor is it a personality evaluation for the agent who wrote it — again, probably not a professional writer.

There are a couple of reasons for the barked advice — the first of which is, perhaps not surprisingly, the same as the primary justification for form-letter rejections: an attempt to save themselves some time. An agent doesn’t have to receive very many phone calls from aspiring writers before she notices that each takes up quite a bit more time than reading a query letter, after all, or be buried under an avalanche of unrequested manuscripts before establishing a policy that she will read only what she has asked to see.

In practice, though, you are probably not the target audience for these bits of advice. The terser listings and blurbs tend to focus upon what NOT to do or send, after all. This implies a focus upon the avalanche of queries they receive, not on the plight of the sender of this week’s 657th letter.

In my experience, the habitual readers of the standard agency guides — at least the ones who are predisposed to follow directions — are not the ones who need to be told always to include a SASE, or never to send an unsolicited manuscript; these are the wholly admirable souls who have done their homework, bless ‘em.

But the overwhelming majority of generic queries — and pretty much all of the much-deplored “Dear Agent” variety — come from aspiring writers who have not taken the time to learn the rules of the game. (Unlike, say, you.)

So when a listing strikes you as off-putting, ask yourself, “Is this snappish list of don’ts aimed at me — or at the nameless person who sent a query without knowing to include a SASE? If it’s the latter, I’m just going to glean this listing or website for what applies to me.”

“I can understand why an agent might want to give generic querying advice at a conference or on a website,” you argue, and cogently, “but the standard agency guides have entire articles about how to query, for goodness’ sake! Do we really need 74 agents also reminding us to query before sending a manuscript?”

Good point, oh skeptical one. But it brings me back to my earlier point: most agents are not writers. Thus, few of them have ever queried a book of their own.

This sounds like a truism, but actually, I don’t think that aspiring writers tend to think about its implications much. It means, among other things, that the average agent may not be aware of just how hard it is for even the best manuscript to attract representation these days. (Tell the truth now: if someone had told you how hard it was before you tried it yourself, would YOU have believed it?) They may not realize that it is now quite common for a very good writer with a truly fabulous book to NEED to query 50 or 100 agents before finding the right fit.

Which makes it entirely safe to conclude that they are not given to thumbing through the nearest agency guide in their odd leisure moments. I seriously doubt most of them are aware just how much repetition there is.

Again, useful for the writer who is predisposed to reading character into trifles (and what novelist isn’t?) If you approach those pithy little bursts of advice recognizing that their producers could conceivably believe that this listing might well be the first time anyone has ever heard of a SASE, they make considerably more sense.

Whew, this is a long post, isn’t it? And yet, amazingly, I still have a bit more to say on the subject of how to read agency listings; saving up my thoughts for intermittent posts has evidently produced a backlog in my brain. More follows after I have rested up a bit.

Keep up the good work!

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How to read those annoyingly vague little agent and editor blurbs

I briefly considered giving today’s post a subtler, more elegant title, but if there is any single characteristic that every agented writer who has ever attended a literary conference shares — other than the sheer fact of having signed subsequently with an agent, of course — it’s that we’re all HUGELY grateful not to be forced to try to decipher any more of those one-paragraph blurbs agents and editors provide for conference brochures. “Hallelujah,” we all say on a regular basis, kissing our fingertips skyward at Whomever, “I don’t have to read THOSE anymore.”

Well, actually, we don’t — the trials of the agented writer are too many, and of the published writer too odd, for us to look backward much. Sorry. But we should, as members of the larger writing community: coming out of an industry ostensibly devoted to promulgating clear, incisive prose that actually means what it says, those blurbs are often downright embarrassing.

And, still worse, unhelpful. Much of the time, they are poorly written, not particularly informative, and seem more devoted to making the agent or editor in question appear to be a nice guy and interesting person than giving the hapless writer staring at the brochure or website enough information about their professional interests — which, I hate to break it to them, is really the only level at which we writers want to be interacting with them, at the conference stage of the relationship — to be able to make a remotely informed decision about to whom we should pitch our work at the conference whose brochure they grace.

I defy you to try to say that last paragraph in a single breath. Louis Armstrong himself would turn blue halfway through. Such is the extent of my chagrin on the issue.

Why am I so exorcised, you ask? Simple: I have been glancing through the agents and editors scheduled to attend PNWA this year, and while their blurbs, as a collection of English prose, really are not any worse than those one might find in any writers’ conference brochure in any given year, I have to say, as Your Friend in the Biz, I’ve been shaking my head. I know some of the people blurbed there fairly well, and have met many of the others — but I’m not sure I would recognize any of them from their blurbs, if names and photos were not attached.

What’s wrong with ’em, you ask? Well, it can be quite hard to tell the players apart — and since the blurbs are ostensibly included in conference brochures and on websites for the SOLE purpose of attracting writers to want to pitch to these people, that seems inefficient, to say the least.

But seriously, as nearly as I can tell, there is no standard for an agent or editor blurb in a conference brochure: some agents choose to share a little, some share a lot. Many of them are quite vague, and others merely list the agents’ best-known clients. However, even that is getting rarer: these days, most just copy their bios first from their agencies’ or publishing houses’ websites, and representation information would be elsewhere on the website.

To add insult to injury, sometimes the same blurb is used for years on end — as are, in flagrant disregard of receding hairlines, photographs — so even if the blurbs do include information about books they have sold or acquired, it is often outdated. (Also frequently true of the standard agents’ guides, believe it or not.)

Why is this a problem? Well, when the titles included were sold quite some time ago, you can’t always be sure that the agent still represents that kind of work, or that the editor still acquires it.

Yeah, I know: bummer.

In their defense, however, the agents don’t list old sales in blurbs and agent guides to be misleading: they are trying to use titles that a prospective client might be able to find in a bookstore. Because the fact is, if an agent sold a book within the last year and a half, it almost certainly is not in bookstores yet for you to find.

I’m going to pause a moment here, to allow that information to sink into the brains of those of you brand-new to the publishing game. It’s true: unless a press is trying to coincide with a specific event (such as a presidential election) or capitalize on a major catastrophe (such as Hurricane Katrina), the MINIMUM time between a book’s sale and its release is generally a year.

Often, it’s longer. And you have only to talk to virtually any agented author to learn that the length of time between signing with an agent and the first sale is frequently as long or longer than production time AFTER the sale.

It’s okay; I’ll wait for you to recover from your swoon.

I’m telling you all this not to depress you, honest, but to clarify why an agent or editor might refer to older titles in his or her blurb. Realistically, the books you are seeing on the shelf today are much more representative of what any given agent or editor was interested in three or four years ago than today.

Unfortunately, you are pitching to the person the agent or editor is NOW.

A lot can happen in a person’s life in three years, and even more in the publishing industry. Three years ago, for instance, memoirs were not primarily regarded as potential lawsuit traps — thank you, James Frey — but as rich sources of highly reader-grabbing material. Ah, those were the days… although perhaps I have a more golden view of them, because my agent sold my memoir to a good publisher almost exactly two years ago.

How quickly things can change, eh?

My point is, while doing your homework about agents and editors is smart conference preparation, the blurbs may not be all that helpful to you. They’re a good place to start, of course, but finding out which writers they represent currently, as opposed to five years ago, can genuinely be hard work.

Agents often seem amazingly unaware of this, or even incredulous when writers point it out: naturally, they huff, their sales are a matter of public record; of course everyone knows about them. It’s a relatively small industry, after all, so everyone within it knows who represents whom, right?

But if you, like pretty much every aspiring writer who did not go to school with somebody important in the industry, don’t know the affiliations, how are you to find out? More to the point, how do you find out what the agent in question is selling NOW, rather than a couple of years ago?

Well, the most direct way of doing it would be to check industry publications to see not only who and what the agent represents, but also what books the agent has sold recently. As in this year and last, the stuff that isn’t on the shelves yet.

Before you swoon again at the prospect of digging up that kind of information, let me break the suspense: because I love you people, I am going to dig up this particular dirt on the agents and editors who are planning to attend this year’s PNWA conference. That way, you can make informed decisions.

To make this a learning experience, however, rather than just an information transfer, I am going to couch all this info within the context of an extended lesson on how to read those blasted blurbs productively.

You’re welcome.

Last year, I ended up devoting a month to this project; by the end of it, I never wanted to hear the word agent again. This year, I shall only be profiling those agents and editors who did NOT attend last year. (This compromise by popular demand; thank you, those of you who weighed in on the subject last month.) So if you find yourself startled to see an agent or editor missing, your best bet would be to check the newly-formed category at right, Agents/Editors Who Attend PNWA, to seek out last year’s only slightly outdated write-ups.

In the meantime, keep up the good work!

Posted on - No Comments on Fee-charging agencies, Part I: what actually occurs

Fee-charging agencies, Part I: what actually occurs

A reader who wrote in to say that she had direct personal experience with the fee-charging agency mentioned in the last post, the New York Literary Agency, has been kind enough to provide the bulk of her correspondence with them people to Author! Author! I am posting it here, in the hope that when writers do background checks in the future, this correspondence will pop up in a web search.

It is rather lengthy, but please, if you are considering working with this agency, I would urge you to read it all, so you may judge for yourself. It makes for some pretty fascinating reading.

I am presenting this without comment. Naturally, I have removed the name of the author and her book, and eliminated as many of the names of persons as possible. All typos were in the original documents.

—– Original Message —–
From: “Cheri,” VP Acquisitions, New York Literary Agency
To: Author
Sent: Saturday, January 21, 2006 3:47 PM
Subject: NY Literary Agency: Thank you for your query.

Thank you for your query to the New York Literary Agency. Based on your query form information we would like to see more.

1) Would you please send us an electronic copy of your work for further evaluation? Please email your manuscript to (e-mail address)

2) Would you please answer these 2 questions in the body of the SAME email? (Just copy and paste the questions).

A. How long have you been writing, and what are your goals as a writer?

B. Do you consider your writing ‘ready-to-go’, or do you think it needs some polishing.

You may send either 3-5 chapters or the entire manuscript, whichever you are more comfortable sending. Your manuscript is completely safe within our company. We take care to properly manage all access and if we don’t end up working together, we delete all files.

Please DO NOT include any questions with your manuscript submission. If you have a question, please send it to question@newyorkliteraryagency.com where the proper people may address your question. Most of the questions you may have are answered on the website and at the bottom of this email. Pleasesee the FAQs below.

Our preference for receiving your manuscript is via email.
===========================================
If the file size is greater than 5 megabytes you can mail it to us on CD,
but please only send it once, either by email or snail mail (we prefer
email). Our mailing address is: The New York Literary Agency, 275 Madison Ave., 4th Floor, New York, New York 10016. If you decide to mail your manuscript please be sure to INCLUDE your email address (very clearly) so we may reply and process your manuscript. Mailed manuscripts may take up to 30 days to reply/process. Emailed manuscripts are processed much more quickly. (If your filesize is over 5 megs we also just recently found a free service that will move large files. Take a look at www.yousendit.com. We’ve used it successfully in the past. Just use my email address as the “send to” address.)

We believe we are very different than other agencies.
===========================================
We believe that we are unique in that we are willing to develop an author and their talent. We like the metaphor of a business incubator as a description of how we will take time to bring an author’s work to the proper quality level, even if it takes months to do so. We take pride in the fact that we answer every email personally within 2-3 days.

Also, you may understand how a Literary Agency works, but many authors don’t, so please excuse me while I take a minute and let you know how the process works. As your Literary Agent, our mission is to assist you in finding a publisher and to coach you along the way in various options available to you. We don’t edit, we don’t illustrate, our mission is to sell for you. As for compensation, get paid on success only, meaning we only get paid if you get paid. Typically we will receive 10% of what you receive.

We do not charge fees, so our compensation is based on success only. Along the way, we may suggest that you continuously improve the quality of your work and or how it is presented. Once your work is deemed ‘presentable’, then we’ll start shopping it to publishers. We never promise a sale, but we can tell you that we have a model that works.

We look forward to receiving your materials.

Best regards,
“Cheri” – V.P. Acquisitions

PLEASE CHECK YOUR SPAM BLOCKERS. We do not click on whitelist links

p.s. You might as well get used to these long emails. Part of our filtering process is to see if you actually read them. Why the long emails? I spend my time doing two basic tasks, 1) managing submissions and evaluations, and 2) answering questions. If I can answer your question BEFORE you ask it, then the entire process will proceed much more efficiently. As a corollary to that, if you want long-winded, personalized emails where we dicuss politics, the weather, and how your day went, you will probably not enjoy our process. If you are as busy as we are, and you pride yourself on operating efficiently (it is a business after all), then you will enjoy how efficiently we focus on the point, and that is, whether we can work together based on your writing and attitude.

Typical Frequently Asked Questions
=============================
Q) Do you return manuscripts?
A) Sorry for the inconvenience however, WE DO NOT RETURN MANUSCRIPTS or MATERIALS due to the volume of submissions we receive. Please do not send us anything that you can’t replace easily.

Q) Would you prefer me to email or mail my manuscript?
A) WE MUCH PREFER EMAILED MANUSCRIPTS.

Q) How should I attach my manuscript?
A) PLEASE DO NOT PASTE YOUR MANUSCRIPT INTO THE BODY OF THE EMAIL. Please send it to us as an attachment, otherwise it hangs up the mail system. If you can’t create an attachment, please get a friend to help you do so. I think we have every software program known to man (except Mac). However everything works easier if you have a pdf, .rtf, or .doc filetype. We also support Word Perfect and MS Works.

Q) Is my manuscript safe with you?
A) Your materials are safe within our company. If you are uncomfortable sending your entire manuscript, please only send 3-5 chapters. If we do not end up working together we will destroy and delete any copies of your work that we have. Furthermore the idea of people stealing someone’s work is a bit of ‘urban legend’. It really doesn’t happen.

Q) How long does this review take?
A) About 7-10 days. We’re faster than most other agencies.

Q) Why is there no phone number? I want to talk to someone…
A) Quite frankly, we are deluged with submissions. It is our policy to provide a contact number later in the process, assuming we would like to proceed with you. If you would like to talk with someone for the reassurance of hearing a voice, just email me and I’ll connect you to the proper party.

Q) Where are you located?
A) We maintain executive suites on Madison Aveneue in New York, NY where we meet with buyers. Other than that, we travel extensively and we have the good fortune to live in Florida, North Carolina, and California depending on the time of year. Sometimes we think that we live in airports. In today’s connected world, our physical location is meaningless.

Q) Why aren’t you in the Yellow Pages? I can’t find you listed?
A) Yellow Pages are ‘old technology’, and they cost money. We use toll free phone numbers and cell phones. Those simply aren’t in directories. We haven’t been in Yellow pages for 10 years. Buyers certainly don’t go to the Yellow Pages to find authors , just nervous authors.

Q) Are you a member of AAR, BBB, Alphabet Soup…?
A) We have chosen to belong to industry associations where the buyers are, such as the Publishers Marketing Association (PMA) through our parent company, The Literary Agency Group. We spend our money going to the big book tradeshows in the US, England, and Germany. BBB, AAR, and other organizations of that type mainly exist for nervous writers, and frankly, we have too many applicants as it is, so we choose not to spend time and money on those organizations. I hope that helps you understand why we belong to associations that help us sell your work, not organizations that help us recruit more writers. We prefer that you judge us on the professionalism of our communications and not whether we belong to an organization. In other words, we ask that you judge us based on our interactions together, and that you can make up your own mind based on our professionalism and courtesy not whether we belong to some organization.

Q) Tell me more about your company.
A) We are bigger than a small agency and smaller than a large agency. We have about 15 people total and as of 2nd quarter, 2005 we have over 60 active conversations ongoing with buyers and 3 option agreements in negotiations in our screenplay division. We just sold our 4th book deal (to a publisher in England) and we are confident of more success later this year. (A 5th deal is being signed as we speak). We market to the larger and medium sized publishers and producers. We have had 5 successes now in the last 2 years (fyi: most agencies only have 1 or 2 deals every couple of years, if that.). We’ve been around the block enough to have people that love us, and people that hate us. We will never ask you for money, so that’s one way to judge for yourself. Our commitment to you is that we believe that we should get paid only if we sell your work. Your commitment to us is that you will do what it takes to make sure your manuscript is the best it can be and that it meets or exceeds industry quality standards.

Q) You’re not a vanity publisher or a self-publisher are you?
A) No we’re NOT A VANITY OR SELF-publisher in any way, shape or form. We DO NOT sell to vanity or self-publishers. Our mission is to sell your work to TRADITIONAL publishers who will pay you (and us). And, that’s how we get paid. If we sell your work to a publisher, then and only then do we get paid (usually 10% which is the industry standard for Literary Agencies).

Q) What are you looking for during your evaluation?
A) We mainly look for COMMERCIAL VIABILITY in the work coupled with good solid writing skills. “Is it something that will sell?” is of paramount importance to us. (We ARE NOT scrutinizing every word, spelling, and grammar usage. There’s plenty of time later for that.) We believe that great writers are made, not born at least 99% of the time. But if a work doesn’t have commercial potential, then we want to let you know as quickly as possible. Being willing to grow talent, we believe in the old adage, “luck is when opportunity meets preparation and hard work”.

Q) How can you evaluate work so quickly?
A) Our mission in the Acquisitions Department is clear. We answer 3
questions:

1. Will the subject matter sell? Is it commercially viable?
2. Is the writing good enough, or would it be good enough with some degree of assistance?
3. Did you as the evaluator like the work and would you believe in it if you were selling it?

If we get the “3 yes” designation then you pass. The next item we look for in our filtering process is your willingness to listen or whether you are a prima donna who wants it ‘their way’. We will very quickly wash out a great writer with a bad attitude. Life’s too short for drama or problems.

Q) What if you find errors or problems with my manuscript? Should I spend time revising now, or later?
A) We receive very few ‘ready-to-go’ manuscripts. We believe we are unique in that we are willing to work with our authors along the way. Most manuscripts that we receive need some level of polishing before we can submit them to buyers. Some need very little polishing. Some need a lot. Over the years, we’ve learned that it is worth our time and effort to do what it takes to develop new talent. We’ve learned that incubating new talent makes good business sense.

Q) My manuscript isn’t finished….
A) As long as there is enough finished to determine your skills as a writer we are willing to look at your work. As mentioned previously, we take a long term view and we are willing to develop talent.

Q) Who are some of the authors you represent? Why aren’t they on your website?
A) We are proud to represent a very diverse group of authors. Our roster of authors includes authors with the following occupations:

* Doctors
* Lawyers
* Entrepreneurs
* Journalists
* Professors and teachers from universities, high-schools, and elementary schools
* Coaches
* Accountants and bankers
* Advertising Executives
* Stay at home moms… students, etc.

Here are just a few bios:

1. The author was born in Baltimore, Maryland and is a Professor at a major university. She is an author and editor of 16 books and 12 proceedings and monographs. She has written 50 chapters and 100 papers, and given more than 150 presentations nationwide. She has graduate degrees in Music, Science, and Education. She and her husband are now living in the British Virgin Islands, where her time is spent sailing and writing. She has published scientific articles and written more than a hundred concert reviews as a freelance music critic.

2. The author is a Fellow of the Royal Colleges of Physicians of Edinburgh, and of Canada, and a Member of the American Societies of Hematology,Clinical Oncology, Blood and Marrow Transplantation and the International Society for Cellular Therapy. For the year 2004-5 he was a scientific advisor to the Cancer Vaccine Consortium. He was a past recipient of the Elmore Research Scholarship of the University of Cambridge.

3. The author has also won numerous awards honoring him as one of the top sportscasters in the country. He has been richly honored as a professional speaker as well, thrilling audiences with his career highlights and inspiring messages. He has a rich history of being on the air in radio and TV for a quarter of a century, working in major markets such as Los Angeles, Chicago, London, Cincinnati and now Dallas. Before settling in Dallas, he lived in London doing on-air work for both the BBC and ESPN.

4. This author started singing professionally with the singing group The Montells in her early teens. They later signed with Golden Crest Records & then went to Atlantic Recording Studio were they recorded, Under The Broad Walk with The Drifters & Gee Baby. In 1997 she was elected into The International Poetry Hall Of Fame with her Award winning Poem. She appeared at The Crossroads Theater in 1998.

5. The author is a retired veterinarian living in Bethlehem, South Africa. He was in rural private practice in various towns before settling down in Bethlehem where he practiced for 35 years. For ten years or more he had a monthly column in Veterinary News. He also was the script-writer for the SuperSport TV series The ABC of Golf.

We DO NOT give out names or contact information except to qualified buyers.(If you’ll think about it, if you were one of our authors, you’d feel the same way. There are a lot of wierdos on the Internet. Sometimes we think that there is a higher incidence of psychosis among writers than any other occupation.)

Q) Is this an automated email? Is there a real person out there?
A) Yes, and yes, and yes… We personally review each query form that we receive for sentence structure, basic spelling and grammar, and whether the story idea/synopsis sounds interesting. This tells us which manuscripts we would like to receive.

Then, yes, we do use a form to provide these FAQs. Can you imagine typing this time and time again? We pride ourselves on using technology to be as efficient as possible. This allows us to work with authors from anywhere in the world. By automating certain elements of our communications we can spend more thoughtful time on your questions that are specific to you andyour situation.

—————————————————————————

Thank you again for your time in reading to the end of this email. I hope that you have a better feeling for our company and our acquisitions process.

I look forward to receiving your materials. And please pardon one more request.

IF YOU EMAIL YOUR MATERIALS TO US WE WILL ALWAYS NOTIFY YOU WITHIN 2-3 DAYS OF RECEIPT. Please refrain from asking “did you get it?” for at least 3 business days. If you haven’t been notified of receipt within 3 days, then by all means resend it (don’t ask, just resend it to the email address above. If it won’t go through, just ‘reply’ to this email and attach it.)

IF YOU SNAIL MAIL (POST) YOUR MATERIALS TO US, PLEASE ALLOW UP TO 2 WEEKS FOR NOTIFICATION OF RECEIPT. Why? It has to be forwarded to a special evaluator that handles ‘paper’. And remember, we cannot return materials, so no need for a SASE.

Whew! Thanks again and we look forward to hearing from you and looking at your work.

Best regards,
(Name omitted) – VP of Acquisitions
We Grow Talent

—– Original Message —–
From: “Cheri,” VP Acquisitions, New York Literary Agency
To: Author
Sent: Sunday, January 29, 2006 9:24 PM
Subject: NY Literary Agency: Thank you for your submission.

Thank you for sending us your work for evaluation. It has been received successfully and it is now being sent to our evaluation team.

We have NOT reviewed it at this time. The review process takes about 1-2 weeks.

Also, we ask that you please see the list of Frequently Asked Questions at the bottom of this email. Our goal is to answer every question you may have BEFORE you ask it. We try to be as efficient as possible so that we can review your work more quickly. (We know you will appreciate this too!)

Please do NOT send us any additional work during the review period. We wish to complete our review of this work and then, if appropriate, we can discuss your other works.

We expect it to take about a week to get back to you with our evaluation. If you haven’t heard from us in 2 weeks, please get back in touch with us because perhaps an email has been missed.

We take pride in the fact that we reply more quickly than most agencies.

Thank you for sending your materials electronically, that’s one of the reasons we can work so quickly to reach a decision. We believe you’ll be pleasantly surprised by how quickly we can reach a decision. (However some authors hold this against us, can you believe it?)

Best regards,
“Cheri” – VP Acquisitions

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
============================
In an effort to save time, here are answers to a few questions that we typically receive at this stage. I think we are doing something right, here’s a comment I just received and I think it nicely states my goal of efficiency.

********************************************************
I do like the way you have organized your acquisitions process. It is efficient yet personal, answers almost every question that could be asked, and reflects your agency’s experience with the business. Your prompt responses are impressive, although I have learned to be very patient with certain publishers. I always try very hard to meet deadlines, because I know how much it is appreciated by those in the business. I think I would be very comfortable working with you.
********************************************************

(REPEATED FAQ FROM LAST E-MAIL)

Here is a quote from one of our clients that we assisted with improving
their work.

********************************************************
“I just wanted to thank you for your critique of my manuscipt. Not only was it completed in a timely manner but you also provided me with some very useful advice in regards to how I can improve my writing. You were very professional and honest, which is a privilege to experience. My sincerest gratitude for your help and guidance.”
********************************************************

I didn’t send my entire manuscript, don’t you need the entire manuscript to make a decision?
—————————————————————————-
By combining your synopsis and query form with the writing you sent us, we can determine if the synopsis is adequate and interesting, and whether your writing style and skills are capable of being brought to professional industry standards. In other words, what we have is enough for us to determine if we want to work with you. (The ugly truth is that we can usually determine if we like your writing and writing style within the all-important first chapter.) After that, the rest of it is about your attitude. We like to work with pleasant people.

We like to work with pleasant people in a professional manner.
—————————————————————————-
We are absolutely committed to a professional relationship and professional communications. As you may have noticed, we have included that as one of our top 4 signature items. We sincerely ask that you hold the same professional attitude in our communications as well. If we make a mistake, or if you don’t like the way we do things, you DO NOT have permission to flame me. People describe me as ‘laid back – with attitude’. Any snippiness on your part and I have the full support of my managment to fire you on the spot, and I will, and it’s irrevocable. I’m sorry for the hard line, but we’ve been around the block enough to try and get rid of the bad apples as early in the process as we can. We very much look forward to a great relationship, over the long term, together. Thank you for understanding, we hope you feel the same way. Life’s just to short for mean people or drama.

What’s next?
————————-
If we believe your work has commercial viability, we will let you know with a “positive review” and inform you about how we bring your work to the marketplace. Because we are vertically integrated in the publishing world, we have the ability to do more with an author than most other agencies can do.

How long does this evaluation for commercial viability take?
—————————————————————————-
We know waiting is the hardest part and we’ve been in your shoes. We will do everything we can to get back to you as quickly as you can. By now you probably understand a few dynamics of this industry. First, most agencies and buyers are absolutely swamped, and second, this is the slowest moving industry in the world it seems. So, if you haven’t heard from us in 2 weeks, please drop us an email about your status. Our best guess though is that you will hear from us in about 5-10 days. We maintain enough readers and evaluators to keep that level of service.

I Have Other Work, May I send it?
—————————————————————–
Please allow us to decide if we wish to represent this work. Later we can discuss your other manuscripts.

I just made a revision, should I send it?
——————————————————————-
No, please don’t send a revision, illustrations, etc. We have enough to determine commercial viability. Writers are constantly revising their work. If we represent you, we will spend time making sure that everything is just right before we send it out. We have plenty of time.

I Have A Few Questions For You and Your Company
—————————————————————————-
We are happy to answer your questions, however, we would appreciate it if you wait until after our review and notification. At that time we will provide you with quite a bit more information, or we will pass. By waiting until the review period is over to ask further questions we will each save time. However, if you have a burning question, or just want to see if I’m really out here, then email me directly and I’ll get back to you within 2-3 days (excluding vacations, weekends, etc.)

Is my manuscript safe?
—————————————-
Your manuscript is completely safe within our company. We take care to properly manage all access and if we don’t end up working together, we delete all files.

Is this an automated email?
———————————————-
What do you think? Do you think I want to type this every time I receive a manuscript? Really though, let me give you just a bit of indication of how much work this is… first I have to receive the manuscript, open it, make sure the file transfer worked, forward it to a reader, mark it into the database, and then notify you of receipt. Then I have to get it back,see if I agree with the review, mark it in the database, and then let you know our results. All this occurs during a 5-10 day period and at the same time, I’m answering questions and dealing with problem, anomolies, sick days, vacations… (I think you get the point! Anything I can do to save time saves each of us time and money.)

And I do apologize for the form letters, it’s just that well.. I try to be as efficient as possible and I appreciate your understanding that my role with you is pretty cut and dried, i.e. yes/no/maybe. Later, if you work with our company, you will spend MUCH MORE personal time with the Agent assigned to you. In other words, the time for personal time is later, if we enter into relationship together.

Thanks again for your time and your consideration of our Agency,
(Name omitted) – VP Acquisitions

p.s. As we mentioned we pledge courteous, timely, and professional communications… here’s an unsolicited letter from one of our clients that really is what my job is all about.

********************************************************
I have not yet opened the contract email that you sent but I just wanted to reply here and thank you for being so kind to me. I have put my heart and soul into this work and have been written off by a number of agents. With the vast majority of them it seems as if they don’t even look at the work, they simply discard it. You make me feel like you really do care about my writing and about the success of my book. In a world of people who tend to be callous and unfeeling you really do make me feel as if you care about me and my work. I can’t tell you how much that means to me. Thank you so much.
********************************************************

—- Original Message —–
From: “Cheri,” VP Acquisitions, New York Literary Agency
To: Author
Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Subject: NY Literary Agency: Positive Review

Thank you for everything that we have received from you thus far. Our review team believes that your work has commercial potential and we would like to proceed further with you. We believe we would like to represent you.

Basically, we feel that your concept and writing thus far has potential and that if polished and presented properly, we can sell it. To take the next step, please let us take a minute to tell you a little bit about how we think and the way we do business.

Best regards,
“Cheri” VP Acquisitions

p.s. We apologize in advance for the length of this email. This is at the behest of our lawyers. They like it when we say it the same way every time. If this email appears truncated at the bottom, please let me know.

INCUBATING TALENT: We Are Willing To Develop New, Fresh Talent.
===========================================
We did see a few improvements are needed, but don’t worry, we receive very few ‘ready-to-go’ manuscripts. Most manuscripts that we receive need some level of polishing before we can submit them to buyers. Some need very little polishing. Some need a lot. Over the years, we’ve learned that it is worth our time and effort to do what it takes to develop new talent. We’ve learned that incubating new talent makes good business sense.

We’d hate to lose a good writer by not accepting someone who is willing to improve. There are very few literary agencies that will take the time to develop talent. Most barely return emails. We’ve answered every email you’ve sent us, and we’ve kept our promises regarding turnaround times. We hope that you will acknowledge that our level of communication and professionalism already far exceeds that of other literary agencies. We pledge this same level of professionalism and courtesy in all subsequent communications should we work together.

HOW CAN WE TRUST EACH OTHER?
===========================================
You don’t know us, and we don’t know you. We like your work, and hopefully so far, you appreciate that we have treated you professionally and efficiently. Yes, we use forms, but that’s so that we have more time to answer your questions about specific problems or nuances. We are looking for authors that are reasonable in their expectations and in their own evaluation of their work. We don’t want prima donnas.

If we were in your shoes, we believe you should be looking for a professional relationship with professional people who will ultimately benefit your writing career, whether your work is sold or not. We never promise a sale. However we do promise that we will work with you on a professional basis and do what we can to promote you and your work to our buyers.

What do we mean by “Polish Your Work”?
===========================================
As you would imagine, we are very, very concerned about what we present to our buyers. At a minimum they expect the mechanics of punctuation, grammar, spelling, and format to meet or exceed industry standards.

I think you would agree that your work can use some level of polishing. However, we don’t think you should take just our word for it, we would like to have an independent review of your work that shows you where the improvements can be made.

From a trust factor, it’s like an investor trusting a certified public
accountant … if there is an independent review on the table, we can each relax and trust each other, and spend our time strategizing marketing, not arguing over whether the work is ready to present or not.

What we have learned over the years is that nothing is more invaluable than having a unbiased, critical review of an author’s work as a roadmap for bringing the work to market. In writing circles this is called a critique. We want you to have a critique of your work. You might already have one, or you may need to get one. Here’s what one author had to say about his critique.

Dear “Cheri”: The critique was more favorable than I had anticipated. I’m a long time editor, of academic works, and I know from experience that good authors appreciate good critiques. As for my own writing – again academic — I have always taken criticism well. I don’t always go along with everything the critic says, but I try the best I can to incorporate anything I feel is worthwhile. And that’s what I did today. Within minutes I was at my desk and my laptop, trying to find out what I could do to satisfy this critic. I also wanted to judge how much work would be required, how long a re-write would take, and so on. If you have that option, you can pass along my thanks to the critic. And you can say that I will try to turn it into a popular book, not an academic treatise. As an academic, I’ll never be able to put that aside completely, but I’ll do my best. And I suspect I can do
it within a month or two. You service is phenomenal.

HAVING A CRITIQUE PROTECTS YOU from unscrupulous agents. Having a critique protects US from egocentric writers who think their work is just fine like it is. If the critique says, “green light – good to go” then we can start marketing immediately. If the critique says, “some improvements can be made in grammar, punctuation, etc”, then we can pause with you while those changes are made.

WHAT DOES A CRITIQUE LOOK LIKE?
=======================================
Here are some links for sample critiques from one of our vendors that we respect. (We realize that not all of these apply to you, but we want you to see how versatile and powerful this critique format is.) Also, please realize that a critique is a fast overview. It is NOT a line edit.
(Links omitted)
YOU MAY ALREADY HAVE A 3RD PARTY CRITIQUE A good number of our applicants do. (As a serious writer, you should get one every year or two).
======================================================================
As we mentioned, if you already have a 3rd party critique, please let us know. It must match the level of detail that you see in the examples above. If you have an associate that you believe can do your critique, then be sure to send us their credentials first for approval.

Please don’t try to critique your own work. (Yes, we’ve seen that happen and we can tell immediately.) Also, many people ask if they can get a friend to do the critique, or a teacher, or an associate. The answer can be yes, but the problem is that if they don’t do editing for a living, then it’s like asking anyone to do something for free, it takes longer, and it may not be done correctly.

The critique should be inexpensive, usually around $60-$90 depending on the company you choose. It will tell each of us if the work is ready for marketing right away, or if more polishing is required. As we mentioned if you have a critique already, great, if not, we can provide a referral for a critique service.

As we’ve mentioned before, we need a common platform of trust from which to begin the representation process together. Many authors wonder if the critique just leads to more and more editing. The answer is NO! Editors are very integrous people, if they say a work meets or exceeds industry standards, then we can all trust their opinion. Once an editor says ‘good to go’, then everyone can move to the next step.

In summary, the critique protects you from unscrupulous agents that will try to tell you that you need endless rounds of editing. Once you have a critique you are in a much stronger position in your writing career.

PLEASE NOTE: WE ARE NOT ASKING FOR MONEY.We want you to have a critique by a qualified industry professional.
===========================================
MANY AUTHORS MISUNDERSTAND THIS SIMPLE REQUEST. We don’t want you to pay us, we want you to have a critique to start our relationship so that we can start from the same page. (If I told you the number of writers that accuse us of using this to take their money, you would be flabbergasted.)

Many authors ask, “why we don’t do the critique as part of our Agency?”.
===========================================
In the old days, perhaps that occurred. However in today’s competitive world we must focus almost entirely on our core competency, which is selling your work. Our company relies on editors to work with you to bring your work to industry standards. We are not editors, we are sales professionals.We contract out all editing work. (As you might imagine, it turns out that editors are usually lousy salespeople, and we love the editors we work with dearly). This point is worth spending extra time on, we aren’t editors, we are sales professionals, and those are two VERY different skill sets.

———- One more positive response from an author about the critique ———————————-

Dear “Cheri”: Thank you so much for your quick responses and professionalism. It was so refreshing to hear an unbiased critique of my work for the first time. I have hungered for it since I’ve been writing. Someone actually read the whole script and took the time and care to provide a professional critique and show me the areas that need improvement. I am so determined to make my work a success, and it helps me to know what my strengths are and where I need improvement. Thank you, and please pass on a big thank you to my editor.
————————————————————————

IN CONCLUSION:
===========================================
Please review the critique sample links above. Think about how powerful an ‘excellent’ critique would be to the selling process and how it will give us the confidence we need to put our reputation on the line for you.

Think about how it protects you, protects us, and how it provides a meeting point so that we can trust each other and move forward on the same page

Thank you again for your time and consideration. We look forward to working with you and developing your writing career together.

Sincerely,
“Cheri” VP Acquisitions

P.s. Instructions for the next step are at the bottom of the email after the FAQs below

Typical FAQs that we see at this stage:
=================================

Q) I have a critique, what do I do?
A) First look at the critque and compare it to the examples above. Many critiques are long on plot and character development. The critique that we prefer includes that PLUS a strong focus on the mechanics.. i.e. punctuation, grammar, format, and spelling. If your critique does not address those mechanical elements we will ask you to get a new one. However if your critique is reasonably close to our examples, then simply let us know that you have one, and we’ll send you the contract, and then you put your critique in with the contract when you send it in.

Q) I need a referral.
A) We will provide you with a referral to someone we trust and who discounts their prices to our clients. You can certainly use any qualified person to do the critique if you know one, but they MUST have been in the industry.

Q) How long should a critique take?
A) It should take about two weeks. It should cost no more than $60-$90. It should be thorough. Many “old style” critiques are long on plot and short on mechanics. The critique that we desire will not only include commentary on the plot, it will also critically review grammar, spelling, punctuation, and the mechanics of writing. We know, we know.. it’s all of our least favorite aspect of writing, but to succeed as a writer, your mechanics must meet or exceed industry standards.

Q) Do I have to pay for it or does the publisher provide for the final polishing and editing?
A) Both…. As your agent, we need it to be ‘great’ before we will pitch it, and then, if the publisher wants to make changes, then they will pay for the changes they desire.

Q) What if the critique says my writing is horrible? Will you still represent me?
A) The critique will never say that your writing is horrible. The critique will point out your strengths and weaknesses. It will come from a coaching point of view, not from a judgmental point of view. As we’ve mentioned earlier, our Agency is different in that we are willing to develop talent. We will not fire you because of a poor critique.

Q) My teacher/friend/pastor/writer/PhD/English Teacher…… can do the critique right?
A) Yes, maybe… we’ve seen very poor work from PhD’s, teachers, and most writers. If they haven’t had a stint as a true editor, then usually they aren’t going to do a good job.

Q) My work is my work, It’s special and i’m not changing anything…
A) That’s fine, but we do insist that spelling, grammar, and punctuation meet or exceed industry standards. We have a saying, “if you put 10 editors in a room you will come out with 15 opinions”. Ultimately, the final decision is yours. If you don’t agree with them, we are on your side, especially about subjective items. On the mechanics and formatting issues we side with the editors.

Q) What do the buyers/publishers think of this model that you use?
A) Frankly, our buyers know that when we pitch a work, that we’ve put the writer through the proverbial wringer! Our buyers know that our writers can understand a contract, comply with reasonable requests, and that we’ve weeded out the ‘something for nothing’ writers that are basically lazy about their craft. This hyper-competitive industry will only reward the best, and that’s our commitment to our buyers, and to you.

Q) How do I know that this won’t turn into endless rounds of editing that I have to pay for?
A) At some time and some place, we have to trust each other. We believe that this is where it has to start. Your risk is $60-$80. Our risk is that our internal cost of our time with you at our hourly rate is easily greater than that amount. (And you never pay us for that time, we don’t charge any fees as we’ve mentioned earlier). So, we’ll spend the time to work with you if you’ll do your part to make sure your work is the best it can be. Unless the critique points out the need for substantial rework, there shouldn’t be any more fees. That’s why we require an independent 3rd party for the critique. This protects YOU from an unscrupulous agent, and it protects US from egocentric writers.

Q) I’m still nervous, what does your contract say?
A) First you keep the copyright to your work, and second, you can fire us in 90 days. Our contract includes the following two clauses designed to protect you. There are no payments to us in the contract unless we sell your work.

Here is the exact language in the contract:
—————————————————————–
1)The copyright and ownership is specifically retained by the AUTHOR for this work and all works submitted to, and accepted by, the Agent. The Writer does not grant to Agent or any other party any right, title or interest of any kind in any copyright, ownership and/or any other intellectual property right contained in or as a part of any work of the Writer submitted to the Agent. The Agent agrees to make no claim to any such right, title or interest, however denominated.

2) The Writer/Producer may terminate this Agreement after 90 consecutive days of no sale by Agent.

——————————————————————

So, if you don’t like us, or we don’t perform, you can fire us in 90 days, and we clearly state that you keep your copyright so there is no chance of us claiming your work. We don’t know how much more ‘safe’ we can make it. (If you think we are going to steal your work, then you are too paranoid to work with us anyway and we’re happy if you decline). Other than that, the contract is for one year duration, and we ask for a reasonable 10% if we sell your work.

===========================================
IN CONCLUSION.. THE NEXT STEP IS SIMPLE …
Please “Reply” to this email with one of the following three statements:
===========================================

1) I understand how a critique protects each of us and will improve my writing (or validate that I’m as good as I think I am). Please send your contract and a referral for a critique service. I will get the critique underway as soon as I hear from you. We have to start trusting each other somewhere and I am committed to my writing as a business.

or,

2) I have a critique already. Please send me your contract and I will include my critique with the contract when I send it in.

or

3) “Thanks but no thanks, I’ve never heard of such a thing”.. or some variant of that…

===========================================

In conclusion, no matter what your reply, I truly and sincerely wish you the best in your writing career and I want you to know that I have enjoyed our interaction immensely thus far. Continue to follow your dreams, and it is my deepest hope that you succeed with your writing career.

I remain, yours truly,
“Cheri” VP Acquisitions

THE AUTHOR POSTED THE FOLLOWING REPLIES ON WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 01, 2006:

Q. How long have you been writing, and what are your goals as a writer?

A. About eight years, off and on. Now I write full time, and am working on my fourth book. To become published and give people their money’s worth when they buy my work.

Q. Do you consider your writing ‘ready-to-go’, or do you think it needs some polishing.

A. I feel my work is ready to go, I think if I edit it one more time it will
fall apart. But, I know there is always room for improvement.

—–Original Message—–
From: Author
To: “Cheri” VP Acquisitions, New York Literary Agency
Sent: Thursday, February 02, 2006
Subject: Re: NY Literary Agency: Positive Review

Dear Ms. (Name removed), I have a question for you. I read the critique response to “Book Title”, am I wrong in assuming that only the synopsis of the manuscript was critiqued? If so how could anything be gleaned from simply reading the synopsis?

I feel a critique could be very helpful!
thanks, Author

***
—– Original Message —–
From: “Cheri” VP Acquisitions, New York Literary Agency
To: Author
Sent: Saturday, February 04, 2006
Subject: RE: NY Literary Agency: Positive Review

Your background, your writing skills and the subject matter were very easy to say yes to.. why waste any other time?

Our mission in the Acquisitions Department is clear and very “cut and dried”. We answer 3 questions:

1. Will the subject matter sell? Is it commercially viable?
2. Is the writing good enough, or would it be good enough with some degree of assistance?
3. Did you as the evaluator like the work and would you believe in it if you were selling it?

If we get a “3 Yes” designation then you pass (at my level).

The next item we look for in our filtering process is your willingness to listen/make changes/, what your goals are, and what your overall demeanor is. We will very quickly wash out a great writer with a bad attitude.

After that, we leave it up to the experts to really dig in and get detailed.

Best regards,
“Cheri” VP Acquisitions

Please excuse any delay as I have been traveling with limited access to emails.

Our Pledge To You:
==================
* We respect what you have accomplished thus far as a writer.
* We believe that great authors are made, not born. We are willing to develop talent.
* We pledge straight talk in a confusing and old-school industry.
* We can’t promise a sale. We can promise a professional relationship.

p.s. Missed Emails, Spam, Whitelists, and other reasons for lapses in communications. We are very, very diligent about returning every email that we receive within a couple of days. The same is true for our vendors and suppliers. IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE A COMMUNICATION AND YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE, PLEASE, CHECK WITH US AND WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENED. Please don’t jump to negative conclusions. The Internet is not 100% foolproof and we are very sensitive to our clients’ expectations and our promises about timely communications.

—– Original Message —–
From: “Cheri” VP Acquisitions
To: Author
Sent: Saturday, February 04, 2006
Subject: NY Literary: Contract & Critique Referral

Congratulations and my warmest wishes for our mutual success! And again, we thank you for your understanding and your acceptance of our business philosophy. We look forward to working with you and because you have indicated such a strong commitment to your work you can rest assured that we will be excited and committed to doing what we can to work just as hard for you!

PLEASE READ THIS INFORMATION CAREFULLY AS IT WILL SAVE YOU TIME AND REDUCE YOUR STRESS (and mine!):

1. Attached is our Contract for Agency Representation.
===========================================
It is simple and straightfoward and we’ve used it for years. It is also
non-negotiable. I’m happy to answer any questions that you may have, but 99% of the time we will not make a change to it if requested. If you want to have a lawyer look at it, by all means do so, but we’ve spent great time and energy with our lawyers making it simple enough for a business person to understand.

You don’t have to be nervous because you can back out very easily. We very clearly state that your ‘out’ from the contract is that you can fire us in 90 days if we don’t perform or you don’t like our services for any reason. This rarely happens, but it’s there for you if you want it.

Your work is completely safe and remains your work. You keep your copyright and this contract is only for the work you submit, not all your works. (You can discuss other works later with your agent).

We are not trying to tie your hands in any way, and as you will see from the contract, we only get paid if you get paid. There are no other payments to us.

We ask that you regular mail us two signed copies of the contract. The address is within the document. International authors can either fax the contract or mail it. Please allow up to 30 days to receive the counter-signed contract back in the mail. The contracts are sent to our NY office and depending on the travel schedule of our President, it may take that long to get them signed and back to you.

We ask that you get the critique started in parallel with sending in the contract. Send in your contract at the same time you are getting your critique. Don’t wait for the critique to send in your contract.

2. Referral for the Critique/Evaluation
===========================================
As we mentioned in the prior email, if you have a critique or evaluation similar in format to those we sent you earlier please send it to us along with your contract. (Don’t email it separately, we have a hard time matching it up. Simply print it and put it with your contract). If you want us to tell you if what you have is acceptable then email it to me as quickly as you can.

If you do not have a critique, please email the following address and tell them that we referred you (address omitted) All you have to say is ““Cheri” referred me”.

They will send you a very clear set of instructions on how to proceed with the critique, send your manuscript, payment, etc.

Writers Literary offers a discounted price to referrals that we send the ($89). We send them so much business that they will prioritize your work and this will speed up the entire process. We can also lean on them if we need to make them work more quickly!

When they complete your critique they will send it to you and to us at the same time. Remember, we are unique in that we are willing to help you develop your talent, so there is no need to worry about what the critique will say.

What’s Next?
=================
During the next 30 days we should receive your contract and your critique. Once we receive your contract and your critique is finished and in our hands, you will be put in touch with your Agent. At that time the Agent will review the critique with you and the two of you will develop a strategy to market your work as quickly as makes sense given the information that we see in the critique.

The Agent will then become your primary contact and will answer questions, guide you, and hopefully, before too long, come to you with the good news of a sale! (Note: we never, never promise a sale, that’s a checkbox for you within the contract by the way).

I am happy to answer any questions that you have and I have enjoyed our interaction. My sincere best wishes for your writing career.

Best regards,
“Cheri” VP Acquisitions

If you can’t open the pdf attachment, try clicking on this link (link omitted)

A Few Frequently Asked Questions (I can’t resist, you know me by now)
===========================================
Please send the contract in parallel with getting the critique. That way
we’ll have you in the system when the critique is finished. Don’t wait to send in the contract until your critique is completed. Send the contract in immediately and please allow 2-3 weeks for notification that we received it.

If you need an extension, simply email me and we automatically grant one, so don’t stress if for some reason you haven’t heard from me. Non-US authors are automatically granted an extension.

If you have a critique already please be sure it matches the thoroughness of the critique example we sent you. If it doesn’t we will reject it. If it does, we will move forward quickly. If you want me to look at it just email it to me.

What’s Next? Once the critique process is complete you will be connected to the Agent that will be working with you. You will discuss ‘next steps’ based on the results of the critique. As we mentioned in a previous email,we are willing to develop talent so there is no need to worry unduly about the results of the critique.

We look forward to working with you. Once we receive your contract and enter it into our system you will receive an email confirmation.

In the meanwhile don’t forget to contact adminNY@writersliterary.com to get your critique started. They will tell you exactly how to proceed. Send in your contract in parallel with having your critique done.

Please note:
============
If for some reason you don’t get your contract back in a timely fashion (say 30 days) please email contractadmin@theliteraryagencygroup.com and they will find out what went awry.

I have enjoyed interacting with you but my role with you is now finished. I am in charge of new author acquistions only. If you need help with something let me know though, and I’ll endeavor to assist you.

Best regards,
“Cheri” VP Acquisitions

> —–Original Message—–
> From: Author
To: Writers Literary, Editorial service to which NYLA referred her
> Sent: Saturday, February 04, 2006 8:07 PM
> Subject: critique info.
>
> Dear Sirs,
> “Cheri” referred me to you for a critique of my book.
> thank you,

—– Original Message —–
>From: (Name omitted) Writers Literary
>To: Author
>Sent: Sunday, February 05, 2006 8:48 AM
>Subject: RE: critique info.
>
>Re: Discounted Critique for The New York Literary Agency
>
>Thank you for requesting a critique from Writers Literary. Congratulations on your acceptance by a leading Literary Agency. You’ve achieved quite a milestone and we are honored to assist you with your writing career.
>
>An Invoice is below at the bottom of the email that reflects the discount that you receive because of your Literary Agency affiliation.
>
>Here are some Frequently Asked Questions about the Critique Process. If you don’t see the answer to your question here, please feel free to email me.
>
>
>Cordially,
>”Lulu”- VP Administration
>Writers Literary
>============= FAQ
>Q) How Do I Send You My Manuscript?
>A) Please wait until we receive your payment. Then your Project Manager will ask for a fresh copy of your manuscript via email. We have a very difficult time with hard-copy. However if you need to mail your work, please let us know.
>
>Q) What are the qualifications of your editors/critics?
>A) We have had great feedback from our clients regarding our editors. Following are credentials for some of the editors that work for us. You can see that your work will be in skilled hands! Click on this link to see some of their credentials. http://www.writersliterary.com/editing.html
>
>Q) How long does it take?
>A) About 10 business days (2-3 weeks) to deliver the critique to you after payment is received.
>
>Q) What does the critique look like? Will I get a copy?
>A) You will be sent a copy of the critique when it is completed. Typically, for expediency, we will also send one to your Literary Agency as well.
>
>Q) I have revisions, should I send them to you if they haven’t started the critique yet?
>A) No please don’t send revisions while we are in process. It is doubtful that you will have changed enough to substantially change the critique, so please don’t send in revisions if we have already begun the process.
>
>Q) How does the process work? Do I send you my manuscript or will you get it from the Agency?
>A) First, we will receive your payment and we will then introduce you to our Project Manager who will be in charge of your critique. The project manager will need a fresh copy of your manuscript. She will give you instructions at that time, so please hold your manuscript until you hear from her after your payment is received.
>
>Q) I sent in my payment and I haven’t heard anything….
>A) Sometimes, with all the spam flying around, email can slip through the cracks (on both sides). Please if after 4-5 business days, if you haven’t heard from us that your payment was received, don’t hesitate to recontact me. PLEASE CONTACT (email address) FOR ALL
>PAYMENT RELATED QUESTIONS.
>
>If you have any other questions about payments or process please let me know. Other than that, please wait to hear from your Project Manager after payment is received.
>
>Thank you again, we look forward to working with you and wish you the best in your writing career.
>
>Best regards,
(Name omitted) – Critique Payment Administration
>
>p.s. Just to ease your mind a little bit more about the process, here’s
>some praise we recently received.
>
>”Thank you so much for your quick responses and professionalism. I received the critique back from Paula, and it was so refreshing to hear an unbiased critique of my work for the first time. I have hungered for it since I’ve been writing. Someone actually read the manuscript and took the time and care to provide a professional critique and show me the areas that need improvement. I am so determined to make my work a success, and it helps me to know what my strengths are and where I need improvement. Thank You, and please pass on a big thank you to Paula.”
>
>”I am writing to you via my wife’s email because there was something wrong with mine and I apologize for the inconvenience. As for the critique on my manuscript: Wow!! Thank you so very much for your honesty and for your straightforward analysis. After reading the MS so many times, I guess I never saw the grammatical errors that seem so blatant now. I will follow your suggestions and try to analyze my writing with a close eye on grammar. I cannot thank you enough for your help. I wish you could help me with the entire work but I know that if I do not try to improve on my own, I will never learn and I will always be dependent. I don’t know what the New York Literary Agency will do now and I am mortified at the prospects. I will keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.”
>
>”I would like to thank you for this critique, it is refreshing to get an honest professional opinion of my work, it make me realise just how much I don’t know about the written word and its presentation.It’s been a long time since I left school with considerable number of years passing before I became interested in writing stories.I would like you to thank the critique for me and let it be know that I look at this as a new beginning and rebirth of my education.”
>
>Payment Information Form
>=======================
>
>PLEASE ALLOW AT LEAST 4 BUSINESS DAYS FROM THE TIME YOU SUBMIT AN ELECTRONIC OR FAX PAYMENT TO RECEIVE A CONFIRMATION. For mailed payments please wait a little longer.
>
>IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE A PAYMENT CONFIRMATION EMAIL IN THE STATED TIME FRAME PLEASE EMAIL: and we will determine what happened. (Usually we get back to you more quickly than that, but sometimes we do take a vacation or sick day).
>
>INVOICE: Critique
>==========================================
>
>Schedule of Administrative Fees:
>1 New Author Critique
>Total Due = $89

(PAYMENT INSTRUCTIONS)
Please do not send your manuscript to this address. This is
>an accounting email only. Once we receive your payment you will receive full instructions on where to send your work.
>
>I hereby authorize Writer’s Literary & Publishing Services, or their credit card processor, to charge my credit card a one time fee of $89 USD only.
>
>Signature_______________________________________________
>
>Card Number: _____________________________________________ Exp. Date:
>
>Name on Card:
>_______________________________________________________
>
>Exact Billing Address of Cardholder: __________________________________
>
>City, State Zip, Country:
>__________________________________________________
>
>CVV2 Security Code: (3 digits on back of card, or 4 digits on front for
>Amex) __________
>
>Email for us to notify you when the card is processed:
>_________________________
>
>We strongly prefer an electronic copy of your materials sent via e-mail, however, if you are unable to e-mail your materials, please mail them to: (address in Florida)

—– Original Message —–
From: Author
To: New York Literary Agency
Sent: Monday, February 13, 2006 12:04 PM
Subject: Book critique

I have sent your $89.00 as requested on Feb. 7,2006, for a book critique, you should have received it by now. Please respond.

From: Writers Literary
To: Author
Sent: Monday, February 13, 2006 12:52 PM
Subject: RE: Book critique
My apologies, I’ll try to figure out what’s wrong. To speed up the research, would you please send any payment details that you have such as the date you sent the payment, how it was sent, whether it has been withdrawn from your check, etc, to (e-mail address omitted) I will immediately research this for you.
Thank you.
Regards,
Payment Processing

— Original Message —–
From: Author
To: VP Acquisitions, New York Literary Agency
Subject: Book critique
Dear “Cheri”,

I contacted the critique service as you requested, (email address omitted) sent off the $89.00 fee through our credit union on Monday, they received the money on Tuesday, (I called the credit union to make sure) but for some reason the critique service has not received it, or at least they have not let me know they have received it after I sent them an e-mail asking if everything was in order. Diane at the service said she would do some research to see what was going on with the sent $89.00 fee. Please see what you can do on your
end, “Cheri”.

thank you

AFTER PAYMENT WAS CONFIRMED, THE AUTHOR RECEIVED THE FOLLOWING, WHICH SHE ANSWERED AND RETURNED, ALONG WITH AN E-MAILED COPY OF HER MANUSCRIPT, ON Wednesday, February 15, 2006 AT 5:34 PM:

Thank you for the opportunity to assist you by providing you with a critique of your work. As a fellow writer, I wish you the best in your writing career and I hope you find the information below helpful and useful. We have found that this format is the easiest way to present our findings to you. Please fill out the top portion of the form and return, along with your manuscript to:

This information is to be provided by the author:

The Current Title of the Work:

The Current Synopsis of the Work:

The Current Length of the Work (# of words):

Market/Demographic Focus:

Describe The Main Character (if applicable)

Describe any Supporting Characters (if any)

—– Original Message —–
From: Critique Administration
To: Author
Sent: Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Subject: RE: critique response

Dear Author,

Thank you for your information, which has been forwarded to one of our editors. I will be back in touch as soon as I am in receipt of your critique. The process takes approximately two weeks from the date we receive your completed information, (give or take a few days depending upon holidays and time constraints).

If you have not heard from me, please contact me. Sometimes, emails go “missing” so your communication would be helpful in catching something of this nature. Many thanks!

Continued best regards,

“Lulu,” Director of Critique Fulfillment
Writers Literary & Publishing Services

—– Original Message —–
From: “Vi” Writers Literary
To: Author
Sent: Wednesday, February 15, 2006 8:08 AM
Subject: Writers Literary – Critique Administration

Dear (Author),

Your critique Wire Transfer payment has been received. Thank you!

Please fill out the top portion of the attached critique form and forward it, via email, along with your manuscript (even if you have already done so previously). I apologize in advance for any duplication of effort on your part; however, in order for my department to be expeditious in getting your critique done quickly, it is most helpful to have the manuscript in the same email as the critique form. Thank you for your assistance!

Once we receive the completed critique form and manuscript, both will be forwarded to one of our editors who will develop your critique. The process takes approximately two weeks. Once the critique is received back from the editor, you will be sent a copy and one will also be forwarded to your referring agency who will then contact you to review it with you.

Important!! Please email the critique form and manuscript to: (e-mail address omitted)

We will then get started.

Best regards,

“Vi”
Critique Fulfillment Department
Writers Literary

—– Original Message —–
From: “Cheri” VP Acquisitions, New York Literary Agency
To: Author
Sent: Thursday, February 16, 2006 3:49 AM
Subject: NY “Cheri” Out Of Office

I will be out of the country with no access to emails or voice mail until Sunday. Please excuse any delay in my communications during this time. I expect to be caught up by Tuesday or Wednesday.

Thanks,
“Cheri”

—–Original Message—–
From: Author
To: “Cheri” VP Acquisitions
Sent: Thursday, February 16, 2006 1:55 PM
Subject: Re: NY “Cheri” Out Of Office

“Cheri”,

Don’t send out the dogs! It was a false alarm! My credit union sent the money in the wrong name. And they are the best in town! Anyway, the book has been sent to the critique service. Hope you had a great trip!

Thanks,

—– Original Message —–
From: “Cheri” VP Acquisitions
To: Author
Sent: Tuesday, February 21, 2006 9:00 AM
Subject: RE: NY “Cheri” Out Of Office

Whew! Please note:

In the future, send all administrative communications to (email address)

I have enjoyed interacting with you but my role with you is now finished. I am in charge of new author acquistions only.

“Angie” and her administrative team will take good care of you. Ask “Angie” about any questions related to receiving your contract or the process of the critique and then meeting the agent once all the paperwork and preparation is in place.

I wish you the absolute best success and I have enjoyed our e-meeting together.

Best regards,
(Name omitted) – VP Acquisitions

Our Pledge To You:
==================
* We respect what you have accomplished thus far as a writer.
* We believe that great authors are made, not born. We are willing to develop talent.
* We pledge straight talk in a confusing and old-school industry.
* We can’t promise a sale. We can promise a professional relationship.

p.s. Missed Emails, Spam, Whitelists, and other reasons for lapses in communications. We are very, very diligent about returning every email that we receive within a couple of days. The same is true for our vendors and suppliers. IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE A COMMUNICATION AND YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE, PLEASE, CHECK WITH US AND WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENED. Please don’t jump to negative conclusions. The Internet is not 100% foolproof and we are very sensitive to our clients’ expectations and our promises about timely communications.

—– Original Message —–
From: New York Literary Agency
To: Author
Sent: Sunday, February 26, 2006 6:16 AM
Subject: Literary Agency – Contract Administration

Dear (Author),

You should have received your executed contract in the mail by now, and if not, you should within the next few days. If you do not receive it within a week, please let us know.

Once again, we congratulate you on your commitment to your writing career and we compliment you on what you have achieved thus far.

Sincerely,

The Contract Administration Department

Note: Please do not reply to this email. ContractAdmin is a singular use email only. “Cheri” and the Acquisition Team have enjoyed working with you thus far. Since their role is very focused on acquisition of new talent, if you have questions or follow-up comments please contact “Angie” at (e-mail),as she is in charge of administration and preparing you for working with the Agent. “Angie” be your administrative contact for the duration of your time with us.

Important: If you have not made arrangements for obtaining a critique, please contact: (Writers Literary e-mail) immediately.

What’s Next?
=============

Once the critique is in the hands of your Agent, they will review yourcritique with you and, based upon what is contained within the critique, discuss what is necessary before beginning the sales and marketing of your work.

p.s. Missed Emails, Spam, Whitelists, and other reasons for lapses in communications. We are very, very diligent about returning every email that we receive within a couple of days. The same is true for our vendors and suppliers. IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE A COMMUNICATION AND YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE, PLEASE, CHECK WITH US AND WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENED. Please don’t jump to conclusion. The Internet is not 100% foolproof and we are very sensitive to our clients’ expectations.

—– Original Message —–
From: “Lulu” Administration, Writers Literary
To: Author
Sent: Tuesday, February 28, 2006 2:41 PM
Subject: Writers Literary – Critique Administration – Reminder

Re: Critique Information Reminder

We are performing our monthly audits and verifying the status of your critique. Thank you for taking a moment to verify our accuracy.

Our records show that we are awaiting receipt of the critique form and/or manuscript/script in order to complete your critique.

If this is in error (and yes, it happens) please email me with any details you have. We sincerely apologize if we have missed an email containing your information or if we have acknowledged receipt of your information already, yet you are receiving this message. Given that we have several
people who process the information that comes through to Writers Literary, sometimes there are errors on our part and our database may simply not be reflecting the correct data.

Should you need the critique form to be sent to you again, please let us know. All information and inquiries should be sent to: (e-mail address)

Continued best wishes for your writing career.

“Lulu” – Director of Critique Fulfillment
Writers Literary & Publishing Services

—– Original Message —–
From: “Vi” Critique Administration, Writers Literary
To: Author
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 5:43 PM
Subject: Writers Literary – Critique Administration

Dear (Author),

Your critique has been completed (see below) and for expediency it has also been forwarded to your Literary Agent. Your agent will review the critique and get back to you within a few days to discuss the results with you. If you have NOT heard from the agent within five days, please contact them.

Thank you again for your commitment to your writing career. At Writers Literary we stand ready to assist you in all phases of bringing your work to the top quality possible and if you decide that future improvements are necessary, we hope you will allow us to assist you.

If you have any comments about your critique (good or bad) please let me know. We are always trying to improve our processes and customer service.

=============================================================
Many authors can make their own changes suggested by the critique. However, some authors try to make their own changes, when they really don’t have the skills necessary to do so. Therefore the Literary Agency that you work with has asked us to provide the following information to them as well (see below):

NOTE: THIS IS INTENTIONALLY BLANK. THE COMPLETED FORM HAS BEEN SENT TO YOUR AGENT WHO WILL BE CONTACTING YOU TO REVIEW YOUR CRITIQUE.

Editor’s Notes:

In my opinion as the person that has reviewed this work, the changes or
Improvements suggested by this review can be made by the author.

______ (Yes, Probably, Maybe, No) This is a 4 point forcing scale.

The amount of work needed to bring this to industry quality standards is:

____ not much
____ some
____ a lot

Remember, the purpose of the critique is to get an unbiased plan of action to bring your work up to professional standards. Your agent will work with you and this information to do so.

“Vi”– Writers Literary Services
Critique Administration

—– Original Message —–
From: “Hal,” Senior Editor, New York Literary Agency
To: Author
Sent: Saturday, March 04, 2006 2:53 PM
Subject: Critique Analysis

Hello, this is “Hal,” Senior Agent at the New York Literary Agency. Please allow me to introduce myself (e-mail address). And my administrator, (Name omitted, e-mail address) Together We will be working with you to first prepare you for marketing, and then to Begin the process of selling your work.

If you have administrative, clerical, filing, or other items to discuss, Please take them up with (assistant). If you have questions about the marketing And agenting, please take them up with me.

Please DO NOT cc everyone as that creates make-work as emails are forwarded And duplicated.

If you haven’t heard from someone, please let me know as I am your senior Contact. Sometimes, with all the spam flying around, email can slip through the cracks (on both sides).

Now that those details are over, let’s get started.

I received your Critique and have reviewed it. (You should have already received It from Writers Literary but if not, it is attached here again. Please always check your Spam filters to see if it may have ended up there.)

It is our recommendation, and we’re sure that you would agree, that the Indicated improvements are implemented before we submit your manuscript to Potential buyers. It is absolutely critical that we submit only top quality Works to our buyers.

The reality is that buyers are inundated with so many manuscripts they can Pick and choose those that are as close to perfect as possible. This saves Them money and effort and allows them to get a better idea of what the Finished product will look like so that their decision process moves more Quickly.

At this time we have to make a decision based on the results of the Critique. Our basic question is this, “based on the critique results, can the author Make their own changes, or should they be required to work with a Third-party editor to make the improvements called for in the critique?”

1) Our first choice is for you to use an editor to assist you.
2) ——————————————————————–
3) In many cases the author is so close to the work, that they can no longer be
4) Objective about making changes. It also helps to have someone to ask
5) Questions of, etc. (Note: you can get started with an editor for around $150ish).

2) You may decide to make the changes yourself.

We realize that in many cases the author feels that they can make their own Changes, or they need to save money, or they just want to do the changes Themselves.

If this is your decision, please realize that we may perform an internal Critique on the changes you have made, and if we find that more work is Needed, then we will request that you work with an editor. However, we may Find that your changes are acceptable, and we may move forward.

There is no right or wrong answer to the above question, just what’s best For you, me, and the work.

Conclusion

I hope this explains the options available to you at this time. Just to Repeat, if you make your own changes, then we may require more work, or we May not. Obviously we’ll have to review what the changes look like. If you Use a third party editor, then we know that the work was done correctly and We can move forward. (As an example of why we like to suggest a third party Editor, think of an accounting auditor. This is an independent third party That certifies that certain standards are met).

Please let me know which way you would like to proceed given the results of The critique.

If you have any other questions or would like to proceed in a different Manner please let me know. This is a slow-moving industry and we can afford To take our time to bring your work to the highest possible level before we Pitch it… you know the old saying, “you never get a second chance to make A first impression”.

I look forward to your reply.

Best regards,

“Hal,” Senior Agent

Attachment: Critique form
(PLEASE NOTE: FOR POSTING ON THIS WEBSITE, I HAVE REMOVED IDENTIFIABLE REFERENCES TO THE BOOK, TO PROTECT THE AUTHOR. THE AUTHOR HAD E-MAILED THE ENTIRE MANUSCRIPT, BUT APPARENTLY, THE CRITIQUE BELOW REFERS ONLY TO THE QUESTIONS PREVIOUSLY ANSWERED BY THE AUTHOR AND THE FIRST PAGE OF TEXT.)

Critique Section – This information will be provided by the Critic:

The Current Title – How catchy is it? How well does it convey the information in the manuscript?
I don’t find this a very catchy title.

The Current Synopsis – How catchy is it? Does it intrigue?

This synopsis sounds interesting, but there is no need to give a chapter by chapter summary.

The Current Length of the Work – Is it appropriate for the target market?

Yes.

What is the power of the opening 3-5 sentences?

The opening is fairly good.

Dialogue (if any) – Describe and comment.

Good.

Mechanics – Grammar:

There are errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the script. I have edited the following paragraphs to show some of them. I have highlighted the words and punctuation marks I added and have put in bold the words that have to be deleted:

There are some long, convoluted sentences that have to be rewritten for correctness and clarity, eg: (OMITTED TEXT)

Throughout the script, there are too many long, involved sentences. It sounds as if the writer has tried to cram as much as possible into each sentence. It reads better when you break up some long sentences into shorter, simpler ones. The aim is to make your script easy and enjoyable for people to read. Readers don’t want to have to struggle through long, complicated sentences.

It’s better not to use unnecessary phrases that add nothing to the meaning of the sentence but just make it sound longer and wordier. Making a sentence longer and wordier does not make it sound more impressive. The convention nowadays is to write tight. Simplicity is valued over ornate writing. Clear, simple, focused writing is easier to understand and a pleasure to read. When you make your sentences long and convoluted, that makes the book harder to read and people are more likely to be put off and choose to read something that is easier to understand.

Mechanics – Spelling:

There are some typos, eg: (OMITTED TEXT)

Mechanics – Punctuation:

There are various mistakes, including missing commas. I showed some of them in the paragraphs I edited above.

Mechanics – Formatting:

The manuscript should be typed in Courier 12, double-spaced.

Is there a need for illustrations? (Children’s, non-fiction, etc.)

No.

Other / Conclusion

This is an interesting story, but the script has to be edited to correct the errors in grammar and punctuation.

—–Original Message—–
From: Author
To: “Hal,” Senior Editor, New York Literary Agency
Sent: Sunday, March 05, 2006 1:29 AM
Subject: Re: Critique Analysis

Dear “Hal,” thank you for getting in touch with me so quickly. The only thing is, I have a problem. I cannot afford an editor. So where do we go from here? You sound like a very smart man, and since we have a contract, what do you suggest I do?

—– Original Message —–
From: “Hal,” Senior Editor, New York Literary Agency
To: Author
Sent: Sunday, March 05, 2006 7:40 PM
Subject: RE: Critique Analysis

Dear (Author),

We completely understand cash flow challenges, so no worries! Take your time. This is a slow moving business and we’re in it for the long term. We like you and your work and we are willing to wait.

At this point you can use the critique as your guide and make the changes yourself. You can submit them to me when you feel you are ready and we will take a look at it again at that time. If you do not wish to make the changes, we can take your work as is and go directly to marketing. The choice is yours.

Please let me know how you wish to proceed.

Thanks,
“Hal” – Senior Agent

—–Original Message—–
From: Author
To: “Hal,” Senior Agent, New York Literary Agency
Sent: Monday, March 06, 2006 1:36 PM
Subject: Re: Critique Analysis

Dear “Hal,”

All right, I will make the changes, and we will go from there. I was amazed when I went back over the book and saw that the critique analysis was correct. I found mistakes I did not know were there. Hell, I thought I was perfect!

Thanks,

—–Original Message—–
From: Author
To: “Hal,” Senior Agent, New York Literary Agency
Sent: Tuesday, March 07, 2006 12:31 AM
Subject: We have a problem

Dear “Hal,”

We have a problem. I received a message telling me that the New York Literary Agency is a fraud. That the agency and staff earn their money, not by selling books, but by referring writers to a critique service (their own) and by referring writers to an editorial service (their own). I believe a person accused of fraud should have a chance to explain. What say you, “Hal”?

I hope this is not true. A literary agency can make a lot more money selling a good author’s work then by defrauding them.

Thank you,

—–Original Message—–
From: Author
To: “Hal,” Senior Agent, New York Literary Agency
Sent: Wednesday, March 08, 2006 12:09 AM
Subject: Here is your chance.

“Hal,”

It would seem you and the rest of the staff at New York Literary Agency, have been very busy. Everywhere I look on the Internet, when I ask about the agency, I get information that the New York Literary Agency is only a scam. And that you all have been doing a scam for at least six years!

Here is what you can do. Send me an email stating that you no longer represent me, and send back my contract. If you do this, then I will be satisfied. If you do not do this then I will contact the police in Boca Raton, Fla. The Better Business Bureau in Boca Raton, Fla. then start with the police and Better Business Bureau in New York since you have an address there as well. Not to mention the FBI, since I am sure they would like to know what this agency is up to of late. I am sure they have also heard about you as well.

The ball is in your court!! Let’s see if you are smart enough to end this!

—– Original Message —–
From: “Hal,” Senior Editor, New York Literary Agency
To: Author
Sent: Thursday, March 09, 2006 4:44 PM
Subject: RE: Critique Analysis

Dear (Author),

I like authors that like to work for themselves, and who are open to assistance as well. So, yes, make your changes, and when you send it to me we’ll decide if it’s ready to go at that time.

“Hal,” – Senior Agent

—–Original Message—–
From: Author
To: VP Acquisitions, New York Literary Agency
Sent: Friday, March 10, 2006 6:46 PM
Subject: WHAT GIVES?

“Cheri”,

Are you playing games? Before I found your name all over the Internet with a bad rep, you were always so quick to respond.

Hmmm, I wonder why.

—–Original Message—–
From: Author
To: Administration, Writers Literary
Sent: Friday, March 10, 2006 6:47 PM
Subject: WHAT GIVES?

I am not hearing anything from anyone. I wonder why?

—–Original Message—–
From: Author
To: “Jo”- Administration, New York Literary Agency
Sent: Friday, March 10, 2006 6:50 PM
Subject: WHAT GIVES?

“Jo”,

Suddenly I am not hearing from anyone. Why do you think this is, “Jo”?

—– Original Message —–
From: “Hal,” Senior Agent, New York Literary Agency (NOTE: SIGNATURE BELOW DOES NOT MATCH ORIGIN)
To: Author
Sent: Friday, March 10, 2006 9:31 PM
Subject: RE: We have a problem

Dear (Author),

First, let me assure you I DO NOT get paid as you mentioned below. I do not work on commission and I get no “kick backs” what so ever. I do not know of anyone in our company that works this way either. If I did, I certainly would not have to work the hours I do. (You will notice it is 6:32pm on a Saturday evening)

As far as the negative comments that are out there about us, here is what our company says….

Please let me apologize in advance for any ‘attitude’ that this email contains. We are asked to comment on that blather all the time, and the sorry truth is that good authors have missed their chance at quality representation because our business model has angered a bunch of wannabe writers. Our successful authors don’t have time to frequent those boards, and if you can find a non-self-published author on the forums, let me know.

It’s funny how people will believe something from someone they’ve never met, vs. someone they have interacted with over time.( i.e. me.), but at least you’re asking for more info, so I commend you for that.

We used to spend time and energy trying to get them to present both sides of the same story on the forums, but frankly it was a waste of time and we have too many applicants anyway.

If you have any specific questions, I’ll answer them, but this ‘comment on what I found” is a waste of time and energy, which I frankly don’t have any more of. (excuse the bad grammar).

Make up your own mind based on our own interaction. I’m very, very sure that I’ve treated you professionally, and that I’ve responded to every email you’ve sent.

Otherwise, best to you in your career, I hope you can find another agent that will treat you with the respect that I have, but I doubt it.

Best regards,
“Cheri” – VP Acquisitions

Here is our ‘form’ rebuttal:
================================

First, let me thank you for ‘seeking first to understand’. I apologize in advance for the length of this email but we want you to be able to make an informed decision about how to proceed.

We are keenly aware of the negative message boards out there and frankly we are very concerned too. Please allow me to give you our analysis of the situation and a suggestion about how you might proceed.

There appear to be three categories of people on those boards.
——————————————————————-
1) The first category are the ‘industry watchdogs’. These are people that derive some level of psychological benefits from ‘exposing’ fraud, scams, etc. WE HAVE CONTACTED THESE PEOPLE NUMEROUS TIMES AND OFFERED TO ANSWER THEIR QUESTIONS ON A PUBLIC FORUM FOR THE BEST INTEREST OF THE INDUSTRY AND THE WRITERS. They have refused or ignored our requests. What does that tell you? It tells me that they aren’t interested in the truth, it tells me that they are interested in more visitors to their website. Also, they have blocked our rebuttal posts and deleted our prior posts. In short, it’s a very one-sided message board isn’t it?

2) The second category are people that have worked with us, for whom we haven’t been successful, and they are blameful, pointing fingers, etc. Basically just jumping on the bandwagon because they would rather feel ‘took’ than acknowledge that their work wasn’t good enough to sell.

3) The third category, for whom we feel the most sorry for, are authors such as yourself who stumble into this mess. Many of these authors just decide not to continue, and may lose the one real chance that they ever had to secure representation. Contacted any other agencies lately? How has the response level been? Wouldn’t you give us just a few points for responsiveness?

So, what to do?….
————————
First, we challenge you to actually go through the message board and to find anything of substance. What we see is repeat, repeat, and each time something is repeated, it gets more and more outlandish. Our favorite, was that “we steal work and sell it to China”. ugh.

Go through the boards and send me any SPECIFIC questions you have. (I’ll actually save you some time, and answer some now because we’ve heard most of them… )

Q) You charge fees.. that sucks.. no one should charge a writer anything…you should get paid only if you sell something… and various flavors of this misconception.

A) We really don’t charge fees. We ask the writer to improve their work and a critique and editing (sometimes) is part of that process. The odds are so against new writers that we’ve learned that we can only invest our time with writers that are willing to pull their own weight. Writers that aren’t willing to pull their weight we call the “something for nothing” writer, who is regurgitating old mantras about how if an agent charges anything, they are bad. Guess what,
if your last name was President Clinton, we’d waive our fees too.

Q) You’ve never sold anything… the author sold it.. blah, blah

A) We now have 4 deals. The most recent is with an UK publisher. (Note: because of the vitriolic people on these boards we don’t post our deals because the instant we post a name, the really creepy and scary people that hate us start sending this crap to the posted name. We’ve got the documents and if ever needed our lawyers can pull them out.) We assisted every author with the contract on those 4 deals. We actually have emails from the publisher complimenting us on the fair job we did for our author. Yes, in two of the deals the author found the relationship, two of them, we found the relationship. In all 4 deals we provided SIGNIFICANT value to the contract negotiation and the post-publishing supoort. The thing that is
lost in all this is that very, very few literary agents have even one deal under their belt. Also, we did a measurement in April and we had 68 open and active discussions with buyers about our authors’ work. We expect a few more deals by the end of the year. You might also be interested to note that we also find really bad contracts for our authors and we recommend that they don’t accept them. We’ve seen more contracts than anyone you know and we bring that expertise to our clients.

Q) You use Form Letters and you are impersonal…

A) True or false, we have answered every email that you have ever sent us? I know the answer is true, and you know it too. To me, that’s personal service. Yes, we use form letters for billing, acquistions, status reports, etc. Our lawyers like us to say it the same way, every time. Do you really want to hold that against us? By using every method possible to keep our admin costs down, we can spend our money selling for our authors, it’s that simple.

Q) The people who work at your company are scam artists, thieves, and have records… etc.

A) This is the grapevine at it’s worst. We aren’t, we aren’t and we don’t. Have you ever heard of mis-identity, or identity theft. We have learned that it’s impossible to curb this situation. Also, did you ever ask yourself why writers have used pen names since time began, and why agents are so hard to get to? It’s because every agent that we know has been literally stalked by some crazy writer. We’ve had them drive by our house. creepy and wierd.

Q) If all this is so untrue, why haven’t you done anything about it?

A) We’ve tried, we’re filing lawsuits against Victoria Strauss and a few
other message board owners, but for the most part, anyone can say anything, so we have just learned to live with it, and to hope that the real authors, the ones we want as clients, can see through it as what it is.

So, in conclusion, if you want to spend your time looking for any real and substantive items on the boards, please do so and let us try to answer the question as best we can.

Please let me repeat our business model. We want writers who are willing to help themselves. However, in the end, you must be the one that has to decide what you want to do. If you are unwilling to spend any money to improve your writing, then please go away. If you are willing to take a small chance with us, then give us a try.

Either way, we wish you the best in your writing career.

p.s. I think this person says it very well…

In closing, I’d like to mention that on several sites that I’ve perused, your agency has been given a bad reputation for problems that I myself have not experienced. Given this, I felt that I should tell you personally that I have been very happy with the level of service your company has given me and at no time have I ever felt uncomfortable about working with you, even after having a dozen web sites try to warn me that you are “unfair”. It is my opinion that some of these sites really ought to look into the writers posting these complaints, but it is only my opinion, so I’ve kept it to myself, except of course to share it with you. In any case, I’ve felt you’ve done a wonderful job up to this point, and that you deserve some thanks for everything that you do… so, er, thank you.

Please, make up your own mind based on our interaction.

And before you lose what might be a decent chance at success, we suggest that you at least stay with the process until you see our contract.

Our contract is very simple and it has the following clauses that protect you:
===========================================
1. There are no fees. If your work needs improvement, then you are responsible for that. If you think your work doesn’t need improvement, then good for you, but we rarely, rarely, see ‘ready to go’ work. Rarely, and I mean rarely. If you think WE should pay someone to improve YOIUR work, then we really are glad to get rid of you now.

2. You can fire us if we don’t perform, easily and cleanly after any 90 day period where we don’t make a sale.

3. You keep all rights, copyrights, etc.

I promise you those 3 clauses are in the contract, so, you can believe what you read, or you can give us a try and make up your own mind.

I know you are nervous, however, what’s your real risk? Ask yourself that.

Our successful authors have answered that question for themselves, and frankly, they don’t have the time or energy to hang out posting on boards, they are following their success and their dream, and I hope you do the same.

Whatever your decision, I wish you the best.

The quotes below are unedited and as you can see, quite from the heart. (We have lots more of these.) If you are really cynical, you will probably believe we made them up, but I promise you, we can prove every one of them.

=======================

“Just a note to say, whatever the outcome of my submission, it’s refreshing to engage an agent who will a) take an email submission, b) turn it round as quick you’ve committed to do and c) actively work with a writer. Submissions are daunting enough anyway without having to wait ten weeks for an impersonalised slip of paper. Here’s to you.”

“I would like to thank you for this critique, it is refreshing to get an honest professional opinion of my work, it make me realise just how much I don’t know about the written word and its presentation.”

It’s been a long time since I left school with considerable number of years passing before I became interested in writing again. I would like you to thank the critique editor for me and let it be known that I look at this as a new beginning and rebirth of my education.

“Thank you for my critique. I couldn’t believe how fast I got it! Frankly, I don’t think it is humanly possible to top the phenomenal service I have received from you. Not only did you keep me apprised of the situation every step of the way – a critique within days of your receipt of my manuscript! I was utterly amazed to say the least! I must congratulate you and all your team for the high level of friendly, efficient service and professionalism that you give your clients. I am HUGELY impressed!”

“As for my critique, I could hardly believe that could write such a WONDERFUL one about my work. The fact that she said she loved this story made all the years and years of writing and keeping the faith worthwhileI THANK YOU, CYNTHIA, THANK YOU! Your positive words abou my work have made my whole year!!!!!!!!!”

“After having reread all the information sent to me, I must say that I am impressed by the way your agency has handled the science, or art of appreciating new sources of writing. If only all agencies displayed your model the world may be a better place. Your FAQ has answered all of my questions and i am eager to get to work.”

===========================

So, as you can see, some clients love us (and some clients hate us, but hey, that’s life in real business). We respect that our service is not for you, but we did want you to know that we have many more clients that like us, than hate us. That said, I wish you the best in your writing career. If you would like to reconsider, we are open to it. If not, we wish you the best and hope that you will find an agency with a soft spot for new authors.

—– Original Message —–

From: “Hal,” Senior Editor, New York Literary Agency
To: Author
Sent: Friday, March 10, 2006 9:31 PM
Subject: RE: Here is your chance.

Dear (Author),

I just sent you an email with an explanation but unfortunately for you you were too impatient to wait for it. So, fulfilling your wishes……

I am sorry that this didn’t work out.

This email shall serve as formal termination and dissolution of our Literary Agency Contract for Representation.

“Hal,” – Senior Agent

—– Original Message —–
From: Administration, Writers Literary
To: Author
Sent: Saturday, March 11, 2006 8:10 AM
Subject: RE: WHAT GIVES?

Dear (Author),

I am sorry. This is the first email I have received from you. After checking your account, I see that your critique is complete and you should have received it around March 3. By copy of this email to the Critique Fulfillment Dept., they will forward you another copy.

Please let me know if there is anything else you need. Thank you.

Best Regards,

Writers Literary
Accounting

—– Original Message —–
From: “Cheri” VP Acquisitions, New York Literary Agency
To: Author
Sent: Saturday, March 11, 2006 10:14 AM
Subject: RE: WHAT GIVES?

Still am, but not wasting time convincing anyone.

Best regards,
“Cheri” – VP Acquisitions

Our Pledge To You:
==================
* We respect what you have accomplished thus far as a writer.
* We believe that great authors are made, not born. We are willing to develop talent.
* We pledge straight talk in a confusing and old-school industry.
* We can’t promise a sale. We can promise a professional relationship.

p.s. Missed Emails, Spam, Whitelists, and other reasons for lapses in communications. We are very, very diligent about returning every email that we receive within a couple of days. The same is true for our vendors and suppliers. IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE A COMMUNICATION AND YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE, PLEASE, CHECK WITH US AND WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENED. Please don’t jump to negative conclusions. The Internet is not 100% foolproof and we are very sensitive to our clients’ expectations and our promises about timely communications.

—– Original Message —–
From: “Vi” Critique Administration, Writers Literary
To: Author
Sent: Saturday, March 11, 2006 4:52 PM
Subject: Writers Literary – Critique Administration

Dear (Author),

Attached is a copy of your completed critique that we emailed to you on 3/3. Below is a copy of the email that accompanied it. By separate email, I will send a copy of an email that your agent sent to you on 3/4.

Thanks,
“Vi” – Writers Literary Services
Critique Administration

Dear (Author),

Your critique has been completed (see below) and for expediency it has also been forwarded to your Literary Agent. Your agent will review the critique and get back to you within a few days to discuss the results with you. If you have NOT heard from the agent within five days, please contact them.

Thank you again for your commitment to your writing career. At Writers Literary we stand ready to assist you in all phases of bringing your work to the top quality possible and if you decide that future improvements are necessary, we hope you will allow us to assist you.

If you have any comments about your critique (good or bad) please let me know. We are always trying to improve our processes and customer service.
=============================================================
Many authors can make their own changes suggested by the critique. However, some authors try to make their own changes, when they really don’t have the skills necessary to do so. Therefore the Literary Agency that you work with has asked us to provide the following information to them as well (see below):

NOTE: THIS IS INTENTIONALLY BLANK. THE COMPLETED FORM HAS BEEN SENT TO YOUR AGENT WHO WILL BE CONTACTING YOU TO REVIEW YOUR CRITIQUE.

Editor’s Notes:

In my opinion as the person that has reviewed this work, the changes or
Improvements suggested by this review can be made by the author.

______ (Yes, Probably, Maybe, No) This is a 4 point forcing scale.

The amount of work needed to bring this to industry quality standards is:

____ not much
____ some
____ a lot

Remember, the purpose of the critique is to get an unbiased plan of action to bring your work up to professional standards. Your agent will work with you and this information to do so.

“Vi” – Writers Literary Services
Critique Administration

—– Original Message —–
From: “Lulu”- Administration, Writer’s Literary
To: Author
Sent: Monday, March 13, 2006 6:31 AM
Subject: RE: WHAT GIVES?

(Author),

Your email is confusing. ???

“Lulu” – Director of Critique Fulfillment
Writers Literary & Publishing Services

Posted on - No Comments on Some very, very practical information, or, you WERE planning on attending the PNWA conference this summer, right?

Some very, very practical information, or, you WERE planning on attending the PNWA conference this summer, right?

Hello, readers –

I feel as though my blogs have been waxing a bit theoretical lately, so I thought I should concentrate on some very, very practical information for awhile. In fact, it’s hard for me to imagine information more practical than today’s, at least for those of you who are planning to attend this summer’s PNWA conference: it’s information that will help you decide how to rank your agent choices on the conference application.

And you thought I didn’t love you.

It can be quite hard to tell the agents apart, based just upon their write-ups, can it not? Some agents choose to share a little, some share a lot; there seems to be no standard for an agent blurb in a conference brochure. A lot of them are quite vague, and others merely list the agents’ best-known clients. Usually, the titles included were sold quite some time ago, so you can’t always be sure that the agent still represents that kind of work.

In case you were curious, the agents don’t list old sales in blurbs and agent guides to be misleading: they are trying to use titles that a prospective client might be able to find in a bookstore. Because the fact is, if an agent sold a book within the last year and a half, it almost certainly is not in bookstores yet for you to find.

For those of you who were shocked my last statement, let me fill you in on why: unless a press is trying to coincide with a specific event (such as a presidential election) or capitalize on a major catastrophe (such as Hurricane Katrina), the MINIMUM time between a book’s sale and its release is generally a year. Often, it’s longer. And you have only to talk to virtually any agented author to learn that the length of time between signing with an agent and the first sale is frequently as long or longer than production time after the sale.

So, realistically, the books you are seeing on the shelf today are probably much more representative of what any given agent was interested in three or four years ago than today. A lot can happen in a person’s life in three years, and even more in the publishing industry. (Three years ago, for instance, memoirs were not primarily regarded as potential lawsuit traps — thank you, James Frey — but as rich sources of highly reader-grabbing material.)

Sometimes, too, we misread the specialties listed in the blurb, rushing to read through all of them before making ranking decisions, or do not know that a particular agent does not want to see certain kinds of work at all. Yes, it seems a little nasty when an agent says he won’t even consider certain genres, but once you’ve been at it awhile, you’ll come to recognize that those who are upfront about their dislikes are giving you a gift: you know not to waste your time, or theirs, if you write work they do not like.

At the risk of sounding jaded (and who wouldn’t, after a decade of attending writers’ conferences all over the country?), it’s been my experience that in reading these blurbs, it’s a good idea to remember that these people sell things for a living. Sometimes, an agent who sounds warm and friendly on paper turns out in real life to be…well, let’s be charitable, shall we, and say unwelcoming?

Sometimes, the opposite is true, where a hostile-sounding blurb conceals a warm and wonderful agent. And often, it’s hard to tell whether an agent sounds eager to find new talent because she genuinely is, or because that’s her standard line, or because she’s brand-new to the publishing world and hungry for sales.

Again, how can you tell who is a good bet for you?

For all of these reasons, it’s often quite a jolt when you get to the conference, appointment card in hand, and hear your assigned agent speak at the agents’ forum: you catch yourself thinking, if only I knew all this a few months ago, when I made my agent choices. So you scramble around, trying to switch your appointment with others’. The best way to avoid this situation, of course, is to do advance research on the agents who will be attending.

It also makes possible a very graceful opening line for your meeting: “You represent so-and-so, don’t you? I just love his/her work!” Trust me, there isn’t an agent in the world who doesn’t like to hear that. A word to the wise, though: if you use that opener, you had better be familiar with any book you mention. Because a significant proportion of the time, the agent so accosted will want to talk about it. Go figure.

So doing your homework about agents is smart conference preparation. Sometimes, however, finding out which writers they represent can be hard work. Agents often seem amazingly unaware of this, or even incredulous when writers point it out: it’s a relatively small industry, so everyone within it knows who represents whom. But if you, like pretty much every aspiring writer who did not go to school with someone in the industry, don’t know the affiliations, how are you to find out?

More to the point, how do you find out what the agent in question is selling NOW, rather than a couple of years ago?

I’m going to tell you how I handle it, personally: I check industry publications to see not only who and what the agent represents, but also what books the agent has sold recently. As in this year and last, the stuff that isn’t on the shelves yet. While all of that information is a matter of public record, not everyone has access to it easily.

But I do. And I’m going to share it with you, so you can make informed decisions, as well as gaining some insight on how to read agents’ blurbs productively. Please note, though: this is information based upon publishing databases, so it may not be entirely up-to-date or totally accurate. Also, it will reflect only those clients for whom these agents have actually sold books, rather than their entire client lists, which may not give a truly representative (so to speak) picture.

Please note, too, that I am presenting these agents in alphabetical order, not ranked in any sort of hierarchy of excellence or interest, and over enough days’ blogs to justify the length of time it took to track the information down. (Seriously – I hadn’t gone through this process in a couple of years, and time had whitewashed my sense of how time-consuming the research is.) And since I have spent so much space today explaining why I think this is a good idea in the first place, I’m only going to go over one agent today, Stephen Barbara of the Donald Maass Literary Agency, tops in the alphabetical list. Here’s his official blurb, gleaned from elsewhere on this very website:

”Stephen Barbara (Agent) is an agent and contracts director at the Donald Maass Literary Agency. Prior to this, he worked as a junior agent at the Fifi Oscard Agency, an editorial assistant at Regan Books, and an intern at the Kaplan Agency. He is interested in literary fiction, YA and middle grade novels, narrative non-fiction, historical and topical non-fiction, and a variety of commercial fiction genres.”

Okay, this is a good one for starters, because our good Mr. Barbara has given the savvy reader quite a bit of information in this blurb that might not be apparent to the less experienced eye, and his solo sales record is recent enough that searching the bookstores for his clients might not have been too helpful. So what can we learn here?

First, he works at an immense and prestigious literary agency, one very well known for genre fiction (it would make sense to ask him in a meeting who ELSE at his agency might be interested in your work), but he has not worked there very long (if my information is correct, he switched over within the last 6 months). This is probably a good sign: going from being a junior agent at one big agency to being an agent at another probably means that he didn’t bring a whole lot of clients with him. Translation: he needs a list.

Second, he is relatively new to agenting: if he were more advanced in his career, he probably would not have listed his editorial assistant or intern jobs. (Although actually, having an in at Regan Books is a definite asset.) Now, I can feel some of you turning off, wanting to hold out for a bigger-name agent, but think about it: who is more likely to sign a new writer, a hungry new agent or the head of an agency?

Long-time attendees of the PNWA conference may have already pitched to the boss in this case: Don Maass has honored our conference many times. And he is a BUSY man. He used to be president of AAR , the agents’ professional association, and he goes around the country, giving seminars on how to write better novels. He has written several books on same. It’s just my gut feeling, of course, but I suspect that such a busy agent doesn’t have a whole lot of spare time to lavish on previously unpublished writers at this point in his career. But an agent new to his agency might.

Aspiring writers, please be aware of this: a relatively junior agent at a major agency can be a very good bet for a first-time author. The agency will provide connections that a smaller agency might not, yet unlike the big-name agents, a relative newcomer may well have both more time and greater inclination to push a new discovery. (Remember, with a big-time agent, you may well end up being her 105th client, and thus perhaps a rather low priority.)

What else can we learn from this blurb? Well, the agent has told us what kind of discovery he hopes to make at PNWA: literary fiction, YA and middle grade novels, narrative NF, historical and topical NF, and commercial fiction. Not a lot of big surprises here — the Maass agency is known for commercial fiction; in fact, in the past, they’ve signed the winner of the PNWA mainstream novel category. Mssr. Maass has been telling conference-goers for years that he would like the agency to handle more literary fiction, and Mssr. Barbara has a solid track record in sales for the middle grade market.

How do I know that? Because I looked at his recent sales, that’s how. In the past two years, I was able to find three of his sales, which incidentally confirm our sense that he switched agencies recently:

In March, 2006, as an agent at the Maass agency, he made an impressive three-book deal with Margaret K. McElderry Books for middle grade author P.J. Bracegirdle’s THE JOY OF SPOOKING, “in which a girl must save her beloved hometown, Spooking, from being turned into an amusement park by a villain.”

His previous two sales (both in July, 2005) are listed under the aegis of the Fifi Oscard Agency. The first is a set of two middle grade books (with QUITE the impressive advance, I notice), Lisa Graff’s THE THING ABOUT GEORGIE, (“a young boy learns to overcome his small stature and his fears of being a not-so-big brother”) and BERNETTA WALLFLOWER: THE PROS AND CONS “about a 12-year-old girl in the summer after she gets kicked out of private school for running a cheating ring — the only problem being it isn’t true”). Oh, and in case you were wondering how his connections at Regan Books might help his clients, these works were sold to a subsidiary of HarperCollins; Regan Books is also a subsidiary of HarperCollins.

So I would estimate, based upon what we see here, that if you write for middle grade readers, this would be a GREAT agent appointment for you to have. Sign up for an appointment with him, pronto.

The other listing seems on its face as if it couldn’t be more dissimilar, a history/politics NF book by a retired Marine, defense analyst, and former professor, about the future of the draft and military service. This clearly fits under the rubric of historical and topical non-fiction, so we know that Mssr. Barbara already has some connections in that direction.

You may have noticed that the blurb mentioned a few other types of work Mr. Barbara is seeking; I was not able to find a history of sales in those other areas. (As I said, though, my databases aren’t infallible.) But, as I said, the Maass agency does have a very good track record in commercial fiction. My suggestion would be that if you write literary fiction, narrative NF, or genre fiction, you should go to the agency website and take a look at their overall client list, to see if your work would fit into their areas of demonstrated interest.

One more piece of advice: if you intend to list Mr. Barbara as one of your top agent picks for the conference (or plan to accost him after the agents’ forum or in the hallway), do bring a copy of the first 5 pages of your book. If memory serves, agents from the Maass agency routinely ask pitchers and queriers for a writing sample, and it’s best to be prepared, right?

Whew! That was a lot of information, wasn’t it? But I would urge you, if you do decide that Mssr. Barbara is going to be one of your top picks, to do additional research for yourself before the conference. The more you know before you walk into your appointment with an agent, the better you can refine your pitch for his ears.

If doing this level of background research on an agent with whom you may be having a 15-minute meeting three months from now seems nutty to you, let me remind you again that the publishing world actually isn’t terribly big. Agents and editors are used to the writers soliciting them knowing who they are; keep an ear out at the agents’ forum at the conference, and you may notice an edge to their voices when they speak of writers who have not done their homework. Think of being familiar with their recent sales as a gesture of respect to their professional acumen, a way you can step most gracefully into their world, to present your book as effectively as you can.

More info on agents scheduled to attend the conference follows over the day to come. Keep up the good work!

– Anne Mini